See? I have the official “Writer’s Shirt” and everything!

Being a writer is not all skittles and beer. And not all of it involves sitting under an oak tree with a lovely Moleskine Journal and a fountain pen waxing poetic about the meaning of life. At least not for me.

This website has Moleskine Journals: Instructables

No my dear “Bleaders,” it usually involves a lot of phone calls, hacking around the internet looking for information and then double-checking the information. I’m usually slaving over a hot computer smacking down coffee in the morning and leaping up every five minutes getting Parker to lay off the mop, or fishing Pepper out from behind the toilet. And of course with my usual “Calamity Jane” style, I’m sometimes down at the Apple Store getting my stuff fixed.

As you may or may not know, I write for BIRD TALK Magazine. And I just love writing for BT, really I do! They are lovely people and my editor, Jessica Pineda is a wonderful editor. She dots my “I’s,” crosses my “T’s” and tidies up the raggedy bits that I sometimes fail to see after the fifth edit when I’m half-blind and can’t see that I mis-typed a word.

Jessica and Moi

If you aren’t already aware, when you write for a magazine, you receive a contract for your work. And among other contracts for online work or for the features I cook up, I get a contract every year from BT for the “Memo to Parker and Pepper” column that appears every month. (Page 6) Thank you all who have written to me about how much you like them. I really appreciate it! And if you haven’t thought to do it, please let the editors know how much you like them. You can contact the BIRD TALK editors here: BIRD TALK COMMENTS

Now here is the issue at hand: Parker has developed quite a taste for expensive Greek yogurt, the price of bird toys has gone up again, and Pepper needs to eat milk-thistle seed to keep her liver in tip-top shape. This costs money. I budget the cost of the care and feeding of my birds within the income I make writing articles. If I don’t make an income writing, the birds have to make do with rehabbed toys and the Greek yogurt is downgraded to the store brand level. And Parker is not a “generic brand” kind of Guy.

The way I see it, my job is to write and if I write well enough, BIRD TALK sells a lot of subscriptions. So if you think about it, I might as well be that door-to-door high school kid selling magazine subscriptions to win a trip to Europe for the school band. But they usually have crappy magazines I wouldn’t be interested in, like The Miserablist, a magazine for people who hate everything, or Waste Age; a garbage industry trade mag. Yes, these are real magazines. But in order to keep writing for BT, I want to make sure they keep selling magazines. No magazine sales, no writing job.

I’m sorry, but do you really want to see poor Parker playing with a toy that looks like this?

I decided to begin a “Buy a Gift Subscription to BIRD TALK  for Christmas!” Campaign so Parker, Pepper and Nyla can eat in the style in which they have become accustomed. Christmas is right around the corner. What better gift to give your bird friends than a subscription to BIRD TALK? For only $13.00, you can give a gift that arrives in someone’s mailbox every month. What nicer gift can you give for only $13.00? I mean really. Unlike “fruit of the month club,” your loved ones will have those magazines (featuring my column) to re-read and refer to for years to come.  And you will have purchased the subscription with the knowledge that my Greys will remain well-fed and happily ripping up brand new toys.

BIRD TALK has been very, very good to me over the years. And in return for their kindness, I want to give them the Holiday gift of increased subscriptions to them. But don’t tell them, it’s a surprise. They have absolutely no idea I have cooked up this campaign so everybody keep it to a whisper.


I mean that’s just tragic. So you see, by purchasing a gift subscription for your favorite bird person, you will ensure that Parker, Pepper and Nyla will all get new toys, not only for Christmas, but throughout the coming year. Getting a BT gift subscription will alleviate all of the guilt you might be feeling about Parker having to play with ripped up toys and an old mop. So this campaign works so well on many levels: Parker gets some new toys, BIRD TALK gets new subscribers, your loved ones have received a wonderful yet inexpensive gift, I  keep writing for BIRD TALK and you will be guilt-free. And I might even get a raise out of the deal. So if you really love Parker and Pepper (And the Memos!) you’ll all give the gift that keeps on giving throughout the year for your fellow Bird Freaks.

You can buy a gift subscription here: BIRD TALK FOR CHRISTMAS!

I thank you all for your support.