Maisy had her routine: She would run to my door, greet Mattie and then trot all over the house to make sure everything was there. Then she would stand in the middle of the living room and stare at me while panting. All of this effort made her thirsty, so she’d go drink all of the water in the water bowl. Finally, she would flop down near me and stare. I called it “Laser Eyes.”


Dear Mom,

Well, I’m confused now. I thought I was supposed to go up there with Lady when you aren’t here. But you’re here. Well, maybe you had a job or something, because I know about jobs. Just ask me! Yeah!

Well, there was Mattie waiting for me on the porch. She was kind of out the rain so it’s not like she didn’t have any sense.  Those dumb little birdies though! They were in the rain. No not the Parrots…the dumb little ones. No, the little, little ones. You know…the tiny ones that have the little house on the table. Lady said they needed a shower and it’s kind of hard to shower finches, so she just lets ‘em sit in the rain now and then.  Did I ever tell you that I think Lady is a little off her nut? So she brings them in and then dries off the cage and cleans it! Now why would you let the birdies sit in the rain only to bring ‘em in and dry everything off?  Why doesn’t she get them wet and then let them run around and scrape their ears and side of their heads on the carpet like Mattie does when she gets a shower? Sometimes the things Lady does aren’t quite right…

I did “Laser Eyes” again. Makes Lady crazy because she thinks I’m asking a question. But I’m not! No! I just want to make her crazy.  Well, when it’s raining and there’s nothing else to do, “Laser Eyes” is a pretty good time-passer. By the way, I found a bone. Other than that it was more of the same and you know how much I love predictability.

Drink water…go out…Laser eyes…heavy sigh…play for 20 seconds…sit…go out…drink water…follow Lady around…look imploringly at sandwich…accept defeat…you know…the usual.

But I have a job!

See you tonight!