Photo courtesy of Kent Hammit…this guy took the best photo of me…ever.

As you can imagine, Parker has his own way of looking at the world. He’s fairly strong-willed and he’s pretty damned clear about the way he wants the world to go.

This is entirely my doing. I raised the little sucker to be a self-confident guy since he was a baby.

Unfortunately, we tend to clash occasionally on matters of where he needs to be at a particular point in time: He might think his presence is required up at the top of the shower stall, or taking a stroll to the kitchen, but I didn’t get the memo about that and he gets irritated when I explain to him that he needs to stay put where I can check on him.

Occasionally, I play the Dr. Phil Game. Where Dr. Phil’s staff finds some of these people is beyond me. But when watching his show,  I can take some comfort in the fact that while I’m a tad ’round the bend, I haven’t yet entirely gone completely off the cliff.

I found Dr. Phil here at Soda Head

 Sometimes I will watch Dr. Phil interviewing some complete kook and mentally insert the word, parrot, for person. Some things you come up with are pretty funny. And some things are remarkably truthful.

Here is a small sample:

Parenting Dilemmas: Dr. Phil’s Advice

Dr. Phil speaks with parents who say their little ones are testing them every single day by cursing, stealing, and getting naked at the neighbors!


Karen and Matt are frustrated that their 4 1/2-year-old son  parrot, Dylan has picked up the horrible habit of cursing. 
 Children Parrots can be fast learners. If you’re child  parrot is cursing, it’s most likely because someone modeled that behavior in front of him/her. The most powerful role model for a child  parrot is their same-sex parent. And the opposite-sex parent is a close second.

Don’t fight in front of your child parrot and watch your own mouth. Be aware that your reaction to the swearing can be the reward for the child  parrot. Never laugh or let them get away with it. Never give in to try to control the behavior. There must be immediate consequences for that behavior. And the child parrot never gets his/her way when they behave in that manner.

It’s time for commando parenting. That means you have to do whatever it takes to stop that behavior, even if it means you have to be late for work, take time off of work, or stay in for the weekend to address it. You need to withdraw any positive attention, introduce a negative consequence immediately, like a time-out without any distractions, and you’ve got to see it through.”


“Miren and Scot’s 19-month-old son parrot is going through a biting phase. How can they stop the behavior before someone gets hurt?

Remember to use age-appropriate discipline techniques. If time-outs don’t work on your child, parrot, it may be that he’s too young.
Be aware of your reaction to being bitten. It’s a powerful reward for a child parrot to know he’s gotten mom and dad’s immediate attention.
Kids Parrots explore with their mouths; it’s a communication tool and it can be effective for them.
The first step is response stopping. When you see the child parrot getting frustrated, opening his mouth and preparing to bite, you have to immediately get his attention and stop him. That means eye contact and saying with authority, “No biting.”
After response stopping, you want to redirect. Physically move your child parrot to something else, to distract him from whatever was making him want to bite. When you disrupt the sequence, then he’s out of the impulse.
Communicate for your child parrot. Tell him what you know he wants, so he knows you understand. “You’re mad because you want that toy. You want that toy, don’t you?” Don’t give him what he wants, but telling him what he wants makes him feel he’s understood.
Never bite your child parrot back. You may suppress the behavior instantly, but it’s confusing to him and the child parrot may have a bad reaction to that later.”

Baby Picture of Parker

See what I mean? Occasionally, my mind takes an odd turn and I come up stuff like this. ‘Round the bend, indeed…