The skies were dark this week as I received entry after entry of horrible words that unfortunately were so great it about killed me. I painfully agonized, debated various attributes and tried to keep my own prejudices against certain words out of it. It was a rough week. I looked at the words, thought about them and finally lined those under consideration up on a document in no particular order.
I had long debates with my Consigliere. Here we are discussing the worst aspects of a word:
Parker didn’t have much of an opinion either way but he did perk up when he heard the word, “Veggies.” I was incensed! “Parker!” I said. “How could you possibly like that word?” I got the drift that it’s possibly easier to say than “vegetables.” Not that he says it anyway, but Parker is always open to new ideas. So we debated. We discussed:
It took forever. Suddenly it became clear:
I had to have three winners. Of course the First prize is the Golden Quail:
But I wanted to honor a couple of other people as for coming up with some truly dastardly entries. Let me make something perfectly clear: I paid no attention to who submitted them. I copied the best ones and put them on a document to review them. There were so many entries, I couldn’t have kept who entered what anyway, because I’m fifty-plus years young and don’t have time for any heavy soul-searching or taking any deep cleansing breaths. I just chose the ones that pissed me off the most, okay? However, I found it interesting that all three of the winners work for parrot organizations. I didn’t realize this until I was figuring out who entered what. So, here we go:
First place with a word I find absolutely ghastly is Ann Wykoski of the Southeast Iowa Parrot Rescue with her truly horrible entry:
As in “I’m fixin’ to put up these groceries.” Gawwwwd! I first heard that expression in Dallas 24 years ago when I was in training and couldn’t believe that crap came out of classmate Deborah’s mouth. But Deborah is originally from Marble Falls, Texas, so I guess that’s the way they talk down there. Ann wins the Quail.
The runners up in no particular order are Jean Gauthier of The Oasis Sanctuary for her entry of “Veggies.” It’s not that the word is particularly heinous, but it seemed to irritate her to no end.
Paula Marley of Marley’s Menagerie in Montreal, Quebec won for her entry of the word, “Whatever.” Again, it’s not the word so much as it is the use of the word. It’s hideously dismissive, and it’s the one-word version of “Talk to the Hand.”
Jean and Paula both get copies of Rebecca K. O’Connor’s book, Lift.
Congratulations to the winners!
They were all truly hideous entries and you all did a beautiful job coming up with so many words that resembled a rat’s behind. Congratulations go to you all for your entries, your participation and your outrage. I loved it! If the winners want me to send their prizes to some place other than the address for their particular organizations, let me know. Thanks again everyone for your entries.