Please bear in mind that we’re having fun here. This is not a serious quiz, it is for entertainment purposes only. This quiz IS a toy. But I wouldn’t suggest pulling it over your head. Contents aren’t particularly hot but don’t spill it. It is not dishwasher safe. Do not ingest and do not use in the shower. Have fun.
Instructions: Please answer each question as honestly as possible.
1.) A Parrot Person’s favorite place is:
a) In the kitchen, dishing up bowls of food.
b) Away from all of the noise
c) In the Office, writing a paper on the effect of excessive, high-pitched screaming on the human eardrum.
d) In bed assuming a pre-natal position with the electric blanket up to “9.”
2.) When singing in the shower, I would most likely sing:
a) “I Feel Bitchy, oh so Bitchy….! (Paraphrased from West Side Story’s “I Feel Pretty.”
b) “The Whipping Post” by The Allman Brothers
c) “The Medication is Wearing Off” by “The Eels.”
d) Theme from “Psycho” by Bernard Herrmann
3.) The perfect Christmas gift is:
a) Another newly rescued Bird. (Great…just what I needed! Oh, and he bites! Perfect…)
b) Yet another T-shirt with a bird on it. (Oh wow! I’ll add it to my collection!)
c) A gallon-size bottle of “Poop Off.”
d) A gallon-sized bottle of Vodka and an extra large container of Excedrin. (Now this I can use! I was almost out!)
4.) A woman’s hairstyle should:
a) Be smartly styled so that it takes an hour to do every morning.
b) Look great with feathers, dander and poop in it.
c) Hide the pre-frontal lobotomy scars.
d) Cover the little divot on my jawline from that deranged cockatoo that took a crack at me four years ago.
5.) My personal role-model is:
a) Dr. Irene Pepperberg (Great Writer! And she has a Staff!)
b) Julie Murad (She founded Gabriel Foudation! And she has a Staff!)
c) Steve Malowski of the Cincinnati Zoo. (He has a thousand or so birds. And he has a staff!)
d) Ann Brooks, Founder of Phoenix Landing (Great work! And she has a Staff and Volunteers!)
6.) If a person wants to date me, he must also like my:
a) Vacuum cleaner
b) Lack of furniture due to the bird cages.
d) frequent eye tick caused by the screaming Blue and Gold Macaw I’m fostering.
7.) I have a subscription to:
a) Bird Talk
b) Frugal Living
c) Psychology Today
d) All of the Above
8.) My list of favorite authors include:
a) Dr. Irene Pepperberg
b) Dr. Joyce Brothers
c) Rick Warren, Author of The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?
d) The Marquis DeSade
9.) I want to date a(n):
a) Avian Vet
b) Owner of a Housecleaning Company
c) Anyone who owns a Parrot Supply store.
d) Johnny Depp (I know he doesn’t give a damn about parrots, I just want to date him.)
10.) I really admire:
a) My parents, for bringing me up right.
b) My teachers, for teaching me about life.
c) The makers of Excedrin.
d) That makers of shreddable toys. It’s the only thing that shuts them up.
11.) What initially attracted me most to parrots was:
a) Gorgeous plumage.
b) The attention I get from the neighbors when my parrots all yell simultaneously.
c) The exercise I get from cleaning the cages.
d) The glamour.
12.) I really get excited when:
a) my birds are quiet.
b) the little monster that refused to come out of his cage finally does.
c) my African Grey asks me if I’m still sober.
d) my partner does the dishes.
13.) I can’t live without:
a) stacks of newspaper
b) Bird Talk Magazine
c) my vacuum cleaner
14.) If you were really depressed, I would:
a) Listen to your problems
b) Tell you my problems
c) Get you drunk
15.) A good friend should know where I keep my:
a) House keys
b) flax-seed oil
d) all of the above
For your own amusement, if you would like, please write a 100 word essay on the theme: “A Person’s Role In the Parrot-Human Relationship: Caretaker or Whipping Boy.”
November 18, 2010 at 11:01 am
This is better than Reader’s Digest! If I could only find a way to save this quiz as my computer’s wallpaper…
November 18, 2010 at 11:36 am
You’d need a pretty big screen there Irena. There’s a lot of questions there!
November 18, 2010 at 11:14 am
I think that there should be an “all of the above” answer option on all of the questions. LOL
How fun this is Patricia, thanks.
November 18, 2010 at 11:35 am
Thank YOU Bonnie. I thought about it but I wasn’t that inspired to do all of that extra typing!
November 19, 2010 at 2:57 am
Here you go, for the essay:
I believe a person’s role in the parrot-human relationship is to be both the caretaker and whipping boy. Humans can play an important role through a parrot’s life from the time the parrot is a baby. Herein, of course, we are assuming that the person has had the parrot since the bird was a mere fledgling. The role then would be more of a mother-to-bird while hand feeding, comforting, cuddling, etc. In my experience, now that my “fledgling” is almost a year old, I have gone from being her “mother” to just being the flock leader—when she lets me.
November 19, 2010 at 9:41 am
Excellent Jenni! I never thought about how your role in their life has to change in response to their changes. Really well thought out and enlightening.
November 19, 2010 at 10:21 am
Fabulous! Last read as I am on my way out the door to go to MARS to clean many cages and feed the feathered fiends! After that, liquor store to stock up on Vodka, forget the juice, will drink it straight!!!
November 19, 2010 at 10:09 pm
I am living with 13 parrots and I just figured out what’s wrong…I don’t drink or take Excedrin! I’m not part of the real Parrot Nation I guess!
6. B ….is far too close to home. What furniture…who needs furniture?
And 15. is A and B, definitely they know where the flax seed oil is, who each bird is by name without the label on the cage (which gets chewed off anyway), who gets what pellets and which bowls, where the bucket of chopped veggies is and the chopped lory fruit container, the house keys and all the labeled carriers and the emergency procedures…btw I love that photo of Pepper…and of course Parker getting into trouble…
November 20, 2010 at 11:49 am
You sure ARE part of the “Parrot Nation!” You’re probably just more stable than most of us! Our friends definitely know where all of the parrot supplies are and usually know what the routine is on parrot care. It’s just a fun little quiz and I thought people would get a good laugh out of it. You cracked me up with “What furniture? Who needs furniture?” Thanks for flying by Jean!
December 15, 2010 at 7:38 pm
Just came across your site today, and I’m really enjoying it . Here’s to your going to the North Pole!
I volunteer for the World Parrot Refuge, and I’ve posted this on its facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/WorldParrotRefuge) :0) I had the great pleasure of meeting Ann Brooks at the beginning of the year at a conference put on by the WPR; she was one of the speakers. I believe she’s also on the board for the WPR. Fantastic woman!