There’s been some interesting stuff going on at FaceBook: Birds who have their own Face Book Pages. I’ve seen quite a few of them and I am FB Friends with many of them. However, there is one little character I’m fascinated with: Bart Henry. Now Bart is an interesting guy: He’s an African Grey, he just recently celebrated his 19th Hatch day with a donut and he regularly throws online parties on FB that are hilarious as long as you have an imagination. Here’s a photo of the real Bart looking at his “Major Award” he won in a contest I had here at “PN.”

I attended one of these “Virtual Parties” and laughed my head off. It was a pool party and here is just some of the online repartee. Bear in mind, these are all “parrots” attending this party with me being the only exception:

Bart Henry: Mom’s got the blow up pool filled up just enough for us to wade in. The floaties and towels are out too. Just make sure you all use the ladders to enter and exit the pool. I don’t want any punctures!

Stanly Scheulin: Woooohoooo, this peanutcolady thingy goes straight to your talons….I’m getting tippsy talons indeed…..follow in my wake, you’ve not that much at stake…

Bart Henry: don’t barrel roll into the pool, Stanly! ; >

King Crayon: Hey! watch out! You splashed into my pitcher of peanucoladas.

Stanly Scheulin: Ah ha..someone sounds like a flight attendant….”woooops” (slips into pool)…”cough, cough”…egad, this waters wet, oops, so’s my veggie burger…on well little moisture never hurt anyburger…*hic*.

King Crayon: Eewww…what’s that floating in the pool? It better be a veggie burger….

Patricia Sund: Parker wants a burger…and not veggie either. Are there any of those?

Bart Henry: OK…no poopies in the pool! : > And take that moisture Stanly. The humidity is under 10% out here right now! I’ll go get another veggie burger on for you. *yells* “HEY DAD!! Another VB over here for Stanly! Thank you!”

Stanly Scheulin: My burger….come to mommy…nom nom…yeppa it’s a burger. Pre-processed.

Patricia Sund: Pepper needs sunscreen; her feathers are “sparse.”

Bart Henry: Sure Patricia…we’ve got veggie burgers, turkey burgers, buffalo burgers, spicy chicken burgers and regular ol’ Bubba Burgers!  Yeah, well so are some of mine that’s why I’m wearing a bandana and a hat! There’s basket by the sliding door with SPF (super parrot factor) 98…help yourself!

Patricia Sund: Parker says ” Buffalo! They’re biggest!”

Bart Henry: Stop it Stanly…I’ve got peanutcolada coming out my nares! *snort*

Patricia Sund :Thanks…And Pepper is going to borrow that baseball cap that says, “Green Parrot Bar-Key West Florida” Is that okay? I’ll make sure she doesn’t make holes.

Bart Henry: *yelling again* DADDDD!!! Buffalo burger for Parker..well done with safflower seeds!

Bart Henry: Hey, Mom and Dad have been to that bar! Wait…let me go inside and see if I can find a piccy…

Patricia Sund: Where’s the Ketchup? And watch it, Parker just took off on your inflatable duck… It’s okay…he has his “swimmies” on. ·

Patricia Sund:  Parker, quit splashing King Crayon. Nyla! GET OFF THE SHED!

King Crayon: Ah jeez, now my MJ is soaked. Someone get me another drink, this time with a lid!

Patricia Sund: King, what is your “MJ?” Oh! Mint Julip!  Stanley, how’s your burger…you done yet?

Chris Hanselman: Yea there are MJ’s over there in the fountain. Here let me get one for you King Crayon. I filled the flask so we can sit here and relax in the hot tub. Hey Bart, I will take a Bubba Burger. Pickles (hehe), ketchup and mustard on it, please. :>

Stanly Scheulin: Hey Mom and Dad stayed at Papa’s Hideaway once in Key West, kewl…(dangles talons in water, sips on peanutcolad)a…Bart these are just the best, can I have another umbrella, I must haved nomed mine…..she’s gotta a passion for cookies a room full of rookies, it’s gonna be a hellofablow….

King Crayon: (joins Pickles in the hot tub) Say…there aren’t any bubbles in the hot tub are there. See…I’m kind of afraid of bubbles. I recently made a confession about it on Beakbook.

Bully Buffett: I’m here at last! gosh- didn’t anyone miss me? I had all kinds of trouble getting my surfboard through customs at DTW this morning. Woaah- Jimmy Buffett! Who wants to DANCE? Is that a Mint Julep FOUNTAIN?

Patricia Sund: Parker says he went to the “Parrot Lounge” down there. (He really did) Was that you with the underwear on your head?

It was incredibly fun and while I don’t personally know the brains behind the birds, they are whip-fast thinkers and have great imaginations. Bart’s Mom and Dad are also very good at Photoshop. Here is Bart at Easter time. He complained for a week about sweating in his bunny suit:

I had a “talk” with Bart about his sudden rise to fame. This was my second “interview” with a bird, actually. The first one was just a “meet-and-greet” with “Oscar,” the naked cockatoo at the Broward County Humane Society for an article for “BIRD TALK.” She didn’t actually answer any questions.  But Bart was far more eloquent. And I must tell you, it’s a little strange interviewing a bird! His answers are in quotations:

1.) Bart, I see you have a lot of friends on Facebook. How long did it take you to talk your Mom and Dad into letting you get a Facebook account?

“It took like, FOREVER to talk Mom and Dad into letting me start my own Facebook account. I’m like, c’mon! You’re both into technology and you have 3 computers for only 2 people. Surely you could spare one of them for the Bartman to have a social life. I mean, you didn’t see fit to provide me with appropriate “real life” friends, at least let me have some cyber fun. Finally after about 20 minutes of convincing (I told you it took forever!) they relented and I haven’t looked back since.”

2.) You play a lot of games with your friends and you’re quite the party guy. What was the first party you ever threw on FB?

“I had to dig back through my archives for the answer to this one. My first party was quite ambitious. It was actually a whirlwind weekend that started in Vegas then moved on to some mountain-top snowman building, then Buckingham Palace (where we scared the poop out of the tourists) before ending up in Disney World. In fact, that initial party weekend was so successful that I was persuaded to run for the office of President of the Tiny Island Principality of Parrotopia, or POTTIPOP as it’s commonly known. My not-quite-yet-but-soon-to-be-girlfriend, Chanel was my V-POTTIPOP and we served our 2 week term with all the dignity the office required. The inauguration was really something to behold and our cabinet meetings were perching room only. Ahh, those crazy, heady days…In any case, it’s been go, go, go ever since!”

3.) Bart, I know that you’re nineteen now. That’s pretty grown up! Any thoughts on writing a book?

“It’s quite a coincidence that you ask about writing a book. You see, while I have no plans to pen my memoirs just yet (after all, there’s more to come!) I will be making my literary debut as a fictional character in the forthcoming “Black Beak’s Revenge” which is the sixth installment in the Cap’n Black Beak saga written by Bully Buffett’s and King Crayon’s moms. In the meantime, anybirdie who is interested will have to make due with the Barty bits I share on Facebook and my BeakBook.net blog.

4.) You get a lot of letters and cards from your friends. You have friends all over the world, don’t you?

“One of the most surprising things about Facebook is the friendships I’ve developed with folks all over the world. I have friends in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, the UK, South Africa, Sweden, the Netherlands, Switzerland and of course the US. I’ve even exchanged cards and small gifts with some of them. It has been such a pleasure to connect with these other “beings” from all walks (and flights) of life!”

5.) I understand Bully Buffett is your best friend. Have you ever really met Bully in person?

“Bully Buffett is indeed my bestest birdie buddy EVER. He’s the coolest parrot dude in cyberspace and his imagination, creativity, wit and intelligence really inspire me. Alas, we have never actually met but it doesn’t matter. We go together like almonds and cashews; sweet potatoes and corn; Nutri and berries; Juicy and Juice; Ben and Jerry…well, you get the idea. As a matter of fact, would it be OK for me to give a shout out? *holds up a talon* High Four, Bully!”

6.) As you probably know from the BIRD TALK Magazine column, “Memo to Parker and Pepper,” Parker can sometimes be a handful. Are you that way too?

“Well, if by “handful” you mean wanting what I want when I want it the way I want it and expecting Mom and Dad to understand this, then yes, I’m a handful. But what else should one expect from a grey? If you want a thimbleful, get a goldfish. If you want to share you life with an equal being, live with a grey.”

7.) Why do you and your friends all like to play “Princess Bride?” Are there rules, or do you just reenact the film?

“Well, “Princess Bride” isn’t the only game we play but it is a favorite. There are no rules to any of our games which is the beauty part – we’re all free to “color outside the lines” if you will and everybirdie brings their own take on things. Beings as intelligent as us feel no need to hem ourselves in with “rules” that would merely limit our creative flow. Having said that, I would like to add, ‘Aaaaaassssss you wwwwiiiiiiiiisssshh’.”

8.) If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

“Hmmm…that’s like a Barbara Walters question. Couldn’t you have asked “if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” because that would be easy. Almond. Where do lots of almond trees grow? That’s where I’d like to go.  Anywhere in the world where lots and lots of almond trees grow. There and Australia so I could visit my friends in Conuretopia. And Bully’s house. I would definitely like to go to Bully’s house. And visiting Kokonino in the UK would be grand. And then, and then…Well, I guess I’d like to go anywhere and everywhere in the world where my friends are.”

9.) And one final question: What’s the deal with the doughnuts?

“I’m glad you asked about the donuts. It started with my first Entenmann’s softee which I grabbed right out of the box myself. From that day on, I KNEW what was in that box but Mom was not at all sympathetic to my donut desires. Flash forward several years and Dad wins not one but two Krispy Kreme cards entitling him to one free donut a day for a year. Now I’m seeing those bags and boxes every week (He doesn’t actually go EVERY DAY – Mom’s not at all sympathetic to Dad’s donut desires either.) and it’s not like I don’t know what’s in there but I pretty much end up with the empty box which is fun but not particularly tasty. So finally on my 19th hatchday, Mom relented and allowed me to have AN ENTIRE Krispy Kreme sugar donut. Oh was I in heaven. A taste sensation and shred toy all in one! I’ve not been offered another donut since but at least Mom filmed the occasion so when I get nostalgic for that day, I can watch the video.”

Thank you Bart! I appreciate your time.

*shakes tail feathers as the recorder is turned off*

“Whew! Did I do alright? I was so nervous – could you tell? I’ve never been interviewed before and it was you know, fun but sorta nerve wracking at the same time. I hope I didn’t sound stupid. Can’t have my friends mocking me out on “the wall”. Can I have a kiss? Whoo! Thank you!”

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