I’m in dire need of a haircut. I hate getting my hair cut because it’s boring. I cut all of my hair off about 1995 because I’d had it up to about here with messing with it. Now I’m so glad I did because with my dog, my “Dudes,” (parrots) and my job + job + job, I just don’t have the time to be messing with my head every minute. And I don’t like the idea of needing blueprints to do my hair. So, it just made sense to cut the stuff off and be done with it. I warn you: If you ever do this, you will never go through the pain of growing it out again unless it’s for “Locks of Love.” Then you actually have an excuse as to why you look like an alien.
And at this point, I’d like to make a confession and yes those are my sneakers:
When I’m not working, or at a meeting, or somewhere where I have to look like someone, I dress like a ten-year old boy. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what my “casual style” was until I saw an interview with Rachel Maddow. She originally made the statement about how she dressed like a ten year-old boy when she wasn’t on the air. Eureka! THAT’S IT!
I felt much better about things once Rachel put the label on it. Good to go!
But I still had this pesky hair situation going on. So I made my way to the local “Hair Burner” and sat down. And I waited. And waited. Good safety tip: Don’t wait until Saturday morning to get your hair cut. While I was there I thought I’d look around and see what I could see. And I saw this:
I can tell you this-Anytime a hair product costs more money than a good scotch at duty-free, it’s time to cut your hair. I’m just not into hair products for my minimalist head. If I told you what I used to wash my hair with you’d die. Oh, I also saw this which reminded me of an old boyfriend. He used to use this. He was really into hair products and he had less hair than I do:
I also saw this:
If I were blonde, I wouldn’t purchase this product. If I was dumb, I wouldn’t purchase this product. Are there really people who would buy this? Or is the name of this product the reason it was marked down to 7.50? So many questions…and I’m sure I’ll never get an answer. Finally, my Hair Burner, Clara called for me, and it was time for me to hop up into the “hair burner” chair:
Clara combed through my head and looked at me and my camera suspiciously when I told her it was for my “Blog.” I’m not sure she knew what I was talking about, but she put up with it. She knows I have a column in BT because I brought a couple of magazines in for her to see the haircut she gave me that graces the magazine on occasion. She was very proud. Clara has been cutting my hair for about eight years now and knows every inch of my head, even that cow lick I have in the back. She puts up with me and my wacky schedule. I tip her heavily. We get along. She proceeds to spray me down like I had fleas and sets to work:
I usually hear a little grumbling in Spanish because I put off getting it cut until she practically needs a weed-whacker to get it cut back. Do you think she does stuff like this on purpose?:
Probably not, she’s probably just trying to get at that cow lick. But this part always makes me nervous:
Yes, getting my bangs cut. If you knew what I used to look like in the first grade, you’d understand. Think long pony tail and bangs cut up so high in front you could roller skate on my forehead. My Mom used to trim them herself and could never get them even and so she just kept cutting. I looked like a freak. Now that I’m “All Grown Up,” (well, other than dressing like a ten year-old boy…) I revel in my long shaggy bangs. Don’t YOU tell me to get my hair out of my eyes! Me likey!
So after about eight minutes I was out of there. Clara is a good Hair Burner and she’s fast!
I always try and remember not to bring a baseball cap to jam on my head as I’m leaving. You can only take this “ten-year-old boy” thing so far. And I don’t like to hurt Clara’s feelings. But all in all, I like the results:
Patricia Sund is a Free-Lance Writer residing in Florida with her three African Greys. She has been published in About.com, Bird Talk Magazine, Birds USA, In Your Flock Magazine, Good Bird Magazine as well as numerous websites and newsletters. She is currently doing research for a book titled "Parrot Nation".