“Parrot Nation” Spotlights a “PN” Reader:

This is Not Me.

You might know me from Facebook. You might know me from “BIRD TALK Magazine.” You also might know me from grade school. (Hi Sandy…)  As a result of all of the above I’ve met some amazing people. Some are internet friends and a few have made an impact on me. Beth Ferguson is one of them.

Beth, the Evil Facebook Poster

I have never spoken to Beth. We have emailed a few times when she had a couple questions about her African Grey.  But the one thing that has stood out about Beth is she puts an entirely new twist on sarcasm.

She is passionate about saving animals and I think sometimes she feels physical pain about some of the stories of homeless animals and cruelty in the world. But she keeps on trucking and posting photos and bios of homeless animals in hopes that they find a home. But she balances these dark postings with a sprinkling of self-deprecating humor and raises evil to a new level. She is a bird person as well as an all-around animal person. She has an African Grey named “Obi” and a Greencheeked Conure named “Little Guy.”  And of course Beth has dogs! There is a Chihuahua she calls Woo Woo, her Shih Tzu mix, Lucy and a Brussels Griffon mix she named Bucky.

Beth’s Facebook posts are twisted and yet I find them very refreshing and I hope she never stops writing them. If she ever decides to get into writing she’ll probably give a few people a run for their money. And I can guarantee they won’t be children’s books.

These are just a few of her posts:

Beth on the Holidays:

“This Thanksgiving I Am Thankful For Serial Killers,..For Without Them, There Would Be More People.”

“Its Time To Strap On My “Santa’s Fake & Your Parents Are Idiots” Sign & Head To Chuckie Cheese To See All The Kiddies!”

Beth’s view on Hip Hop music:

“Sadly, I Have Lost All Hearing. Eminem Came On The Radio While I Was Painting The Kitchen & I Had No Other Choice But To Jam Corn On The Cob Holders Into My Eardrums. I Do Know A Little Sign Language, …But It Only Involves My Middle Finger.”

Beth on painting her walls:

“I Would Like To Send A Special Thank You To The Gnats. Your Little Corpses Have Added A Wonderful Finish To My Paint.”

Beth on snacking:

“Man..I Am FULL ! Those Paint Chips Were Delicious!”

Beth on shoulder pads:

“What’s Up With Shoulder Pads? I’ve Never Seen Any Shoulderless People……What The Hell Purpose Do They Serve Besides Making You Look Like An Idiot With Shoulder Pads On? I Prefer Not Looking Like A Linebacker.”

Beth on Church:

“*YAWN* Im Still A Little Groggy From My Nap At Church. Happy To Get One In Though…”

Beth on Naps:

“Ready For A Nap! Time To Tape, & Tie Up The Kids!”

Beth on shoes:

“Wonders…..Why Is There Always One Shoe On The Side Of The Road?….& Where The Hell Is The Other One?!”

(Actually, I’ve always wondered about this myself.)

Beth on walking her dog:

“Thanks To My Dogs Eating Crayons,… My Poop Scooping Experience Was Much More Interesting Today.”

Beth on saying “Goodnight:

“Time To Rest My Abnormal Brain! Goodnight Everybody! ♥”