“Parrot Nation” is a blog primarily about my life with my Parrots and all that’s involved, but sometimes you simply need to take a break from the main subject at hand and wander down another trail.

This is an actual letter I wrote to some “Uppity-Up-There” management types at the Airline after a particularly heinous day in the air regarding a report I was required to submit after this particular day’s “Festivities.” Their replies were of course, “Corporate,” but I could tell they were amused. Well of course they were. They weren’t on the flight…

Gentlemen,

There comes a time in one’s career when you think you’ve seen it all and that you believe you have handled just about every type of disgusting situation that can happen in the line of duty.  And then, the real “Doody Calls”.

I’m referring to a Flight I was on today where the poop not only hit the fan, it hit the floor, the seat covers, and the aft lavatory. May I also point out that the last two letters of the tail number of this particular 737 was “BM”. How serendipitous…

I want to commend my extraordinary colleagues I flew with today who, when faced with an incredibly noxious stench, a hideous mess, and an aircraft full of grossed-out Customers, leapt into the responsibility of moving people away from an aisle full of copious amounts of human excrement, (as far as I’m concerned, any amount in the aisle is “copious”)  calm down and clean up the Victim of a poor meal choice last night, inform the Captain of this unfortunate situation, and mask the odor and mess in the aisle until we could land and have a Cleanup Team take over.

Attached, you will find the Flight Attendant Report about this heinous situation and a blow-by-blow description of the details of this Flight. I believe my Report speaks volumes about the integrity, tenacity, and strong stomachs this exceptional Team of Flight Attendants and Pilots exhibited. I strongly advise that they all be recognized for maintaining their sense of humor, their Professionalism and for not actually getting physically ill during this trying flight.

This was truly a Flight From the Bowels of Hell, and I trust you will commend this Team of remarkable Professionals and “rectify” the situation, so to speak, (pardon the pun) by rewarding them in some way. What this team went through to make the flight endurable and even tolerable was more than  “Above and Beyond”. Their actions today were noble and spunky. And I hate spunk. But this time that is precisely what it took to get through this appalling situation.

Now, both of you know I believe in giving credit where credit is due. This is one of those rare times when all 6 of these Crew Members deserves recognition. The teamwork was exceptional and it was an amazing, albeit a thoroughly hideous experience.

I did learn one thing today. Gin is quite handy in masking hideous smells with a fresh pine and juniper scent.

Beefeaters: it’s not just for drinking.

With Respect,

P. Sund

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