Have you ever read, “Jabberwocky?” If you haven’t, it is something that is difficult to understand, but it really doesn’t need understanding. If you aren’t familiar with it, here is an absolutely incredible rendition done by Johnny Depp:
For my purposes, I intend to concentrate on one line in the poem:
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!”
I remember having both of Lewis Carroll’s books read to me when I was about four years-old. I sat in my Father’s lap as he read them to me, one chapter a night. Out of all of the content of the books, “Jabberwocky” and “The Walrus and the Carpenter” were my favorite parts. As I got older, they both had new meanings to me as I began to understand them. However, in the last few weeks, the particular line I cited has become significant to me. There is another quote that I think has taken on new meaning to me since last summer: “There but for the grace of God, go I.”
That quote is attributed to John Bradford, an English reformer and martyr, who decided to go up against Mary Tudor and ended up in the Tower of London for his troubles. And yes, you’re damned right I have a point.
I’m a big believer in having an opinion. And if I only associated with people that agreed with me or only knew the things that I knew, it would be a pretty boring existence.
I have seen some pretty troubling stuff during my time in the world of birds. But what troubles me the most are the divisions and the sniping that occur from behind the comfort of a keyboard. In the years I’ve been blogging here, I have seen my share of “The jaws that bite, the claws that catch.” I have seen sadness, joy, hilarity and comforting.
I’ve also seen down right meanness. I don’t like meanness. I don’t care for hurting other people. I’m sure I’m guilty of it as well but I try not to do it. And if I do, usually unintentionally, I feel absolutely terrible. And I mean, sickly terrible. Depression terrible.
The name of this blog is not by accident. When I first entered the world of aviculture, I truly felt as though I were joining something very special. I could feel connections that existed between people, bound together by a common understanding and a mutual interest and love.
I first came into this light, bright airy world that is its surface.
What I had yet to see were the dark alleys. I didn’t know about those dark alleys. Nobody warned me that they were around some corners and if you went there, it was like entering this sad, horrid place where everything was broken and you could feel this terrible, cold breeze of disdain.
Suffice it to say, in my first few forays out into the world of aviculture, I wasn’t exactly welcomed with open arms. I was pretty much dismissed as inconsequential. After all, I had only one bird, no ties to any avian organizations such as a rescue or bird club and nobody knew who I was. I went to a weekend event once in those first cold years and the entire time I was there, only one person said a word to me. Just one.
I was just A Pet Owner. Ever see the movie, Mean Girls? So much for my introduction into the charming world of the avian community. It made me feel terrible.
I twisted and turned and tried to find my place, my spot. I needed to find where I fit in. Well, I found it with a little help from Susan Friedman. She saw my place right off and told me that writing was where I belonged. So here I am.
Photo courtesy of Natural Encounters Inc.
What I didn’t expect to have to do in writing about the field was having to deal with other people’s sadness, anger and negativity as often as I do. I am working on developing a steel-belted gut, but it doesn’t come easy for me. I can’t quite cast off other people’s feelings that quickly. While there is much sadness and regret when you deal with animals at all, you have to realize that a lot of it indeed comes with the territory.
Nature can be a cruel thing. Humans develop feelings for these creatures and when they pass or when we see something that is not right, we get upset. However, there is a lesson to be learned here. And it brings up some questions as well.
One of those questions is one of the very first questions I asked myself when I joined what I call “The Parrot Nation.” And that question was, “Where do I belong?”
Well, where do you belong? Where is your spot on the avicultural map? We all have birds. We all think the way we do things is the way others should do them.
I disagree. If I followed that tenet, I never would have taken any classes, attended any seminars or learned anything new.
Do I have opinions? Of course I do! We all have them. I have a certain belief system about birds that I strongly believe in. But my beliefs and my ways are not the only way.
I have been introduced to new ways of doing things over the years, as well as coming up with an idea or two of my own that other people seem to like. I like what works. I like to see innovative ideas and adopt them for my small Grey flock.
I don’t mind disagreement. I don’t mind looking at things in a different way. I like learning and discovering something that can be done better. Quicker. Easier. More efficiently.
What I do mind is sniping. I mind it when people are mean. I also mind when people go after each other with virtual socks full of manure.
There is also something else that I think needs to be examined here: Intent. While intention to do good things is wonderful, sometimes it simply isn’t enough.
When two teenagers who haven’t graduated from high school declare their undying love for each other and decide to get married, thinking that is what will sustain them, I just shake my head. The intention is there, but that sure as hell isn’t going to put food on the table and a roof over their head.
Eventually they discover that it isn’t working because you can’t put love in the fridge. It won’t cover your back in the winter. We can be the most well-meaning people in the world, but without skills, without an income, without a way to back that intent up, we’re lost.
We all just can’t “love our birds.” We have to have a way to support them. We have to have a place to keep them. And we have to somehow build a system that allows us to not only take care of and feed our flocks, we have to have a back up system in place, should life take us away from them on occasion.
I love it when people have a fierce love for their flocks. I don’t love it when they think that they can interpret this as meaning they can put other people down.
When I titled this blog, Parrot Nation, I meant it. I want to be clear here: unless we figure out a way to become a united front, we’re screwed. The Tea Party may be ridiculed, skewered and made fun of, but those people are together in their ideas.
They want what they want and they are a united front. Can’t say I want them over for dinner, but they sure are faithful to their ideas and they sure as hell stick together.
Let’s try and drop this Us Against the Rest of Them mentality. It’s not about that. It’s not about being better than someone else.
It’s about all of us. And the practice of learning to be a bit more understanding of each other with an openness and tolerance needs to be adopted. We’ve got problems all over the place.
But we sure as hell aren’t going to fix them by trying to prove to each other that the only way to get things done is the way one group or person does it. Helping and supporting each other should be key. And learning to ask for help or taking help when it’s offered is just as important.
We are a community. We are the The Parrot Nation. And until we all get on the same page and learn to help each other, instead of constantly ripping each other up; well, then we’re all just a bunch of Jabberwocks.
May 29, 2012 at 10:16 am
The Johnny Depp quote ended with “It’s all about YOU, y’know.”
But… it’s not. It’s not about the people. It’s about one group of birds at one time in their history. Not their past, not “what could have been.” Their present.
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May 29, 2012 at 1:14 pm
and we are the “you’s” (pardon the poor grammar) that control the future of these Parrots……Otherwise, they’d be in nature, free and flying, and not dependent upon us for their survival in captivity.
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May 29, 2012 at 10:24 am
Pat, you and I discussed this in detail yesterday and I am glad you expanded on it. Healing must be cooperative, without nurses, therapists, etc., no one would get better and that is the same in this case. We have seen so much rock throwing recently that it is time to put down the rocks and instead of using our hands (keyboards) to hurt, we need to use them to heal.
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May 29, 2012 at 10:24 am
once again Patricia well done,, and I hope you don’t think I’m being mean but I hope you never develop that steel-belted gut, because I am afraid it will change you… you have hit the proverbial nail on the head…. rescues would be better served to work together, but one of the main problems I see is that the people running the rescues either think their way is the only way, or the other rescues are afraid to let the others “see” them, Let’s face it some of the folks out there that run rescues are very outspoken and strong willed,, not thinking this is necessarily a bad thing, but could be why someone might be “afraid” to let them in…… But in order to BEST serve these beautiful beings called Parrots, it would be the BEST thing to happen.
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May 29, 2012 at 10:26 am
The avian world is complex and confusing to be certain. I suspect a lot the coldness, bitterness and distrust is due to the rapid increase in the size of the parrot community and the speed at which we are all connecting through social media. Also, parrots are very unique creatures and we are all still on a pretty steep learning curve. It doesn’t help that there are several species of parrot that each have their own individual qualities and needs as well. All these unknowns bring out many opinions, ideas, facts, myths and uncertainties. All things that cause us to question what is true in addition to who is sincere. My hope is that as we all get to know each other better and as more knowledge is gained that we can all focus where we have common ground rather than differences.
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May 29, 2012 at 10:27 am
Thanks for this excellent post Patricia. The finger pointing is the biggest problem faced by aviculture (as well as dog, cat, horse, agriculture groups). It seems to fall under the ” no one can keep/breed/rescue/care for (insert species here) as well as me and thee, and I’m not so sure about thee” train of thought. And it always, ALWAYS leads to a train wreck…
Bird people – breeders, rescue, rehab/rehome, pet owners and those who wear many hats, absolutely NEED to work together. We all want the SAME thing. What is best for the birds. Parrots, softbills, poultry, finches, other exotic species of birds.
As always, you are dead on about the problem. Hopefully, it can be solved by working together, all of us pulling in the same direction.
Thanks again for all you do. For the birds. For us.
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May 29, 2012 at 11:52 am
Pulling rescues and breeders together is going to be tough. Not impossible, but it’ll be no small feat. I am in rescue and I see the birds that have been abused and neglected. However, I also see the ones that simply outlived their homes or their home could no longer accomodate them. Whatever the case for the relinquishment, in rescue we are forever seeing the down side of the captive parrot, and it colors our perspective. Breeders get to watch the miracle of new lives being brought into the world. They get to see fledglings grow and get stronger with each passing day. In the end they see a fluffy sweet bird passing into the hands of a happy, joyful new owner. Therefore they see the positive side to parrots in captivity. This is why rescuers and breeders find it difficult to see eye to eye. Our experiences are very different and we see things from largely opposite perspectives. To get us together both sides will have to come to the table with open minds and being willing to actually experience what the other side deals with, both good and bad.
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May 29, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Well articulated.
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May 29, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Ditto Chris, and all of us have to learn to “whisper” instead of “shouting”. As is with a small child, call to him / her in an angry voice and the child cowards away from you….Try whispering his/her name softly and it is almost a guarantee said child will respond.
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May 29, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Adrianne, do you really think everyone wants the same thing? I’ve done cat rescue for several decades, and I have to say that puppy mills and backyard breeders aren’t primarily (and in most cases, not at all) concerned about the wellbeing of the animals, just about profit. I would be surprised if the same is not true of some bird breeders. Take for example those who supply the large chain pet stores – how much thought do they actually give to the future of the babies they ship off?
Likewise, there are those for whom rescue seems to be more about gratifying their own egos, even when it is at the expense of the animals.
I think it is necessary for as many people as possible to work together. I also think it’s naive to assume that everyone will put their own profits and/or egos aside for the good of the animals.
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May 29, 2012 at 10:43 am
Amen! I am a proud Parrot Nationite and united we must stand! Patricia, please keep leading the way.
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May 29, 2012 at 10:50 am
Standing ovation here bravo Patricia
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May 29, 2012 at 10:54 am
Standing ovation with wingies flapping, very well said Patricia and I completely agree with you as well as casper and angel.
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May 29, 2012 at 11:56 am
High five, Patricia. Thank you for adding your substantial voice to the growing crowd of people who are tired of watching the egos and attitudes of the few dominate the needs of the many. Peace, Love, Parrots, y’all.
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May 29, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Right on, to the point…….Thank you.
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May 29, 2012 at 8:22 pm
I’m having flashbacks to middle school when I would finally get wind that everyone but me (or so it seemed) was hip to the fact that there was some major controversy or gossip going around about something or someone.
There would be me…standing with my Trapper Keeper & Holly Hobbie lunchbox feeling completely gobsmacked & clueless that everyone else is in on this hot gossip…except me. So I spent many years saying stuff like: “So what are you guys talking about???” or “What’s going on??” or “Who are y’all taking about?”.
Apparently I was always behind the power curve when it came to preteen gossip & it would seem I am as well with whatever controversy is going on in the avian community.
Honestly, I have no idea what y’all are talking about. I’m not so sure I want to know either.
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May 29, 2012 at 11:00 pm
Right on Patricia. Some of us have walked that tight rope between breeders and rescues so long we are just about to jump off. Problem is we do not want to jump to one side or the other because we see the problems on both sides. All we can do is the best we can by birds, whether it is to make sure that someone goes to a GOOD breeder for a bird or to a GOOD rescue.
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May 29, 2012 at 11:14 pm
The problem: humans being humans..and they can be mean and vicious or they can be compassionate and caring, alternately in the same person!
The solution: I think the human race is still working on it. We aren’t there yet in terms of being able to go beyond our basic animal nature and human nature.
From my experience in the professional world and the avicultural world, you have individuals with a wide range of personalities, experiences, educations, ego needs, willingness to share, and ability to cooperate with others. Humans come in a wide range of characteristics…which does make it very difficult sometimes to achieve a reasonable and respectful discussion in a forum.
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May 30, 2012 at 8:45 am
BUT IT CAN AND WILL BE DONE! (sorry, but I felt that deserved a shout)!!!!!
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May 30, 2012 at 9:42 am
All that is required to achieve a reasonable and respectful discussion in a forum is for people to be respectful. Nobody has to agree. But baseless blaming, finger pointing, sarcasm, snide remarks and steadfast refusal to accept situations as they are and look for solutions to the problem are all CHOICES individuals make, not personality traits. People choose to be mean to one another and they choose to make personal attacks.
I used to host all kinds of controversial topics on my Facebook wall with many of my friends, ranging from religion to politics. I have such a broad range of friends that seldom did anyone fully agree, yet we all managed to disagree in a respectful way. It can be done, if people would behave like adults and not high school sophomores. People choose to be mean, and people choose to be nice. Just make the right choice. It’s not difficult.
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May 30, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Well spoken Patricia. You are the voice of clear reason and civility in this hateful mess. I am proud to say I am a member of the Parrot Nation!
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May 30, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Thank you for featuring our adoption wall!
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June 12, 2012 at 12:32 am
Fantastic view and post, thanks for sharing!
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August 30, 2012 at 6:02 pm
I believe you have “found your spot” 🙂
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March 4, 2013 at 11:11 am
I agree with your post completely. If we as “parrot lovers” do not work together to protect the birds and our rights, we will all “Hang alone”. The birds will be lost to us forever through habitat loss, poor husbandry, and legal scrambling. Where ever we are on the parrot spectrum we all need to agree if we do not stop the sniping and backstabbing we and the birds lose.
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March 4, 2013 at 5:52 pm
Here it is 2013 and notice it’s the same instigators, the same allegations, the same BS as it was a year ago. Some groups apparently aren’t happy unless they’re needlessly stirring things up and attacking others from afar.
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