Parrot Nation

Now here’s a good Mom.

Why? Because I find them absolutely hilarious. I don’t even have to read the damned things, I just like reading the descriptions. I suppose it’s a little like the opposite of subscribing to Playboy Magazine for the articles.

I was surfing around looking for blogs to see what was out there. (Sometimes I do stuff like that…) And I keep bumping into them. There are even websites entirely devoted to listing them which makes it even funnier. Why do they bother me?

Kim’s just showing Petie a little affection and attention. This isn’t “Mommy-ville.”

Well, for one, they seem to take themselves so seriously. Even when they say they aren’t serious, you just feel that they just know that their family is unique. It probably is, but come on… Things haven’t changed that much since I was a kid. Not all of these blogs are lousy. They just raise having a child to this major “Helicopter-Parent” level that turns what could be a very civil conversation into a discussion about sippy-cups and bowel movements.

I get it. I remember when I used to talk about my birds all of the time. Now, you have to drag me over flaming coals to get me to talk about them if I’m not at a bird event. I have birds. You have kids. We both blog. I’ve never really entertained the thought that having birds meant everything they did was necessarily “entertaining.” As it is, even writing this blog, this is not a chronicle about every move Parker makes or every word Nyla says. I find them interesting, but I accept the fact that not everyone else does.

My Mother really didn’t have a whole lot to say about making hot chocolate for me when I was a kid except to get out from under her feet while she did it. I doubt my parents had much of a philosophy about “Parenting” other than, (I can surmise) “Keep the kid so busy she won’t have time to get in trouble.” And if that was their philosophy, then they succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. And I don’t ever remember the word “Parenting” ever used when I was a child. It wasn’t a skill. It was what you were. Either you were a Parent or you weren’t.

“Parenting” an orphaned Red River Hog at the Cincinnati Zoo. His primary caregiver? A cat.

Some similarities in many of these blogs is that the they describe themselves as “Living, Laughing and Loving.” Please notice the heavy use of Exclamation Marks. (!)

This is my journey as a former Elementary school teacher turned Stay at Home Mom – Learning, Laughing, and Loving Life with my 4 boys!

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Oh, and many of them are Losing their minds, or they use words like crazy busy, or they’re saving their sanity: 

Full time teacher and mother of two babies 17 months apart. I’ve lost my mind.

Not a kid. Parker is a bird. But he’s a member of the family.

I’ve also noticed another similarity: They are Just… this. And Just…that.

Just a wannabe trying to find balance among the constant chaos of motherhood.

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Just a SAHM mommy blogging about anything and everything! From Jesus to curtains, glue sticks to Doctor Who-I write about it all!

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Just a blogging, cloth diapering mom trying to be a little greener everyday.

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Just my random thoughts and pictures of life with two biological kids and two kids adopted from Ethiopia.

I’ve learned a new term: Momopolize. As in to “Momopolize the conversation with all things having to do with being a Mom.” While I knew that SAHM is a “Stay at home Mom,” I’ve recently learned that a WAHM is a “Work at Home Mom” and a SAHD is a “Stay at Home Dad.” I don’t quite know what a “Lactivist” is, but I can guess it involves breastfeeding. Which reminds me of the Murphy Brown line about breast feeding: “It’s like one day discovering you can get bacon out of your elbow.”

It also appears that some seem to drink a lot of wine:

Mother of one. Wife. Blogger. Reality TV junkie. Muppet lover. Brand whore. Obsessive cleaner. Germaphobe. Lover of clothes. Wearer of heels. Drinker of wine.

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High school teacher by day, full-time wife and mama at night (and always). I’m a little bit random, a bit OCD, very Type A, a tad too blunt, and love me some Moscato wine.

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A blog inspired by girl talk (during nap time) over a glass of cheap wine.

And life is “Never Dull!

Blog about raising multiples, Our life is never dull raising quadruplets.

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Join Us On Our Never-dull Journey As First Time Parents To Twins!

All things being equal, I think Quads trumps Twins.

You want adventure? I’ll give you adventure: Ever been nipped by a pig?

Other popular themes and words used to describe these Mom Blogs: Crunchy, Adventures, Musings, Ramblings, Kiddoes, Kidlets, Journey, Learning, Chaos, Cloth-Diapering and Giveaways.

Well, these are different….

Day to day life of a Pagan Mommy raising her Witchlets.

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I excel at momming. And by “excel” I mean I’m totally winging it and so far the baby hasn’t caught on fire. Win.

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Germaphobe, lunatic, working mom of two brilliant kidlets who always cough into their elbow nook

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Trashy Blog is a comedy blog updated once a week, normally on Fridays when blogger Shay has time to kick back with a beer and trash her skanky little heart out

So is this…

He Screams, He Cries, He Wears A Skirt: Raising A High-intensity Gender-nonconforming Kid.

I guess what chafes my keester is this very serious level of absorption over the minute details of a child’s life. Apparently a half-filled baby book doesn’t cut it anymore. You need to blog to show your kids you care. Problem is, unless you are one hell of a writer, most other people don’t give a damn. They’re too busy raising their own kids.

The original Mommy Blogger didn’t even know the meaning of the word. Her name? My hero and role model, Erma Bombeck. Erma “blogged” in a newspaper column twice a week that was syndicated by more newspapers than any other columnist in the country. How many? Oh, about 900. The male syndicated columnists of the country at the time couldn’t believe it, but they certainly saved a place at the bar for her. She broke glass ceilings everywhere. But she never took herself too seriously and she never took her eye off of what was important. And that was raising her kids. She just happened to be extremely good at writing about it.

After what I saw today, I can now take comfort in the fact that perhaps my blog is not so “Non-Mainstream” after all.