I found this little dude at: Sodahead
At times we are faced with many challenges. Having birds in your life is an acquired taste. And if you are like most bird people, we have the “Lays Potato Chip” taste in parrots: “Betcha can’t have just one!” With that comes a lot of work, training, reading and coping. Rather than bitch about how damned tough it is, or giving up my parrots like many, many people do, I have a tendency to make light of the situation and face the issues head on. And I tend to do it with humor.
My reasoning? Well, let’s just say that parrots are pretty funny anyway and you might as well laugh at it or go crazy. And that’s a big assumption there that we’re not all ’round the bend in the first place. I mean really, think about it, we’re all vacuuming like maniacs, cleaning up pounds of parrot poop, chasing wads of dander and feathers around just so our living spaces don’t look like freakin’ chicken coops. We’re washing floors and cleaning grates until our fingers bleed. This is lovingly called a “lifestyle choice.”
Why do we do it? We love having bird in our lives! We love it, dammit! We love our flipping’ birds so much we’re willing to do this on a regular basis, so get off my back, you sadist! *Sob!*
If we were nuns, people would refer to us in reverent voices and say in a hushed tone, “She got, The Calling.”
I tend to wonder what services at “The Church of the Consecrated Cockatoo” would be like. Or how about: “Our Lady of Perpetual Parakeets.”
Well, there’s always “Wings of Fury Pentecostal,” “Eclectus Epiphany Episcopal,” “Psittacine Celebration Church,” or “Godly Grey Global Worship.”
Due to this particular approach, I’ve devised a few ways of coping:
1. I make fun of my own situation.
2. I make fun of other people’s situations.
3. I bang my head on the wall a lot.
4. When all else fails, I vacuum. There’s no better way of clearing a bout of writer’s block than a nice go-around with the Dyson.
5. I then write snarky posts to get people to laugh at themselves and at my own particular dire straits. This has a tendency to make people feel better about coping with their birds and make them think that they are indeed semi-normal.
6. If you don’t understand that I am desperately on your side and trying to make you feel better about the huge responsibility you have taken on, then slap on a clown nose and realize that having birds is not all gloom and doom.
7. The way we have chosen to live tends to mystify most outsiders: “What the hell? You have birds in your house? And you let them wander around and they hang on your shoulder? Are you serious? What, are you a pirate or something?”
So there it stands. And if you begin to start taking you and your flock too seriously, you will begin losing one of the very things that most people get into having birds in the first place. The fact that it’s supposed to be fun. Enjoyable. And a positive part of our lives. Please. Don’t ever lose that.
February 25, 2012 at 8:34 am
Sometimes we forget how to play – thanks for reminding us! Have to go hokey pokey some poop….
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February 25, 2012 at 9:04 am
Don’t forget to put your left foot in…
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February 25, 2012 at 8:47 am
There are those days that I look around and think to myself “What the hell did I do?”. Those days do not happen often and they usually occur after a trying work week and life has been hectic. Then one of my boys does something silly or funny or they finally, finally get the trick/behavior that I have been trying so hard to teach them and those feelings of “Am I seriously demented?” go away. We have to laugh at ourselves, our birds and each other. We are all in this together. Only other parrot people truly understand what life with parrots is like. I love the humor and it puts things into perspective and tells me thank God I am not only who feels this way… Thank you Patricia for making it easier to laugh at ourselves and our situation. Like you stated in your banner at the top “Parrots are cool. They are also one hell of a lot of work…..”
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February 25, 2012 at 9:03 am
Kelly, you got my entire point in spades! Beautiful comment! Thank you.
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February 25, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Very true. So glad I’m not the only demented one. If you are not a ‘bird person’, you don’t get it 😦 But WE do !!
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February 25, 2012 at 9:53 am
Even when my crew are naughty as all get out, I think about how much better my life is with them in it. I have an odd sense of humor anyway..so when my crew does things that would make ordinary people boil over I laugh. They are, without a doubt, the best people I’ve ever had in my life. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Even when they do take a bath in fresh bowls of water or throw the food on the floor because they don’t like what’s in it. LOL
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February 25, 2012 at 10:05 am
And what better place to throw the food? Sure beats scraping it off the artwork…
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February 25, 2012 at 9:54 am
from one pirate to another…..wouldn’t have it any other way…now, I have 3 cages to clean..(notice how they come before the rest of the house)
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February 25, 2012 at 10:04 am
Of course they do Michelle. That’s what cages are for…to give you something to do in order to avoid housework.
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February 25, 2012 at 7:10 pm
Oh definitely !! I have limited myself to 3 parrots in 2 cages. It is sooo funny when my Amazon will be tearing
something up because I FORGOT to put her back in her cage. I’ll call, “Where are you?” & I’ll hear a soft “I’m a good girl” – LOL
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February 25, 2012 at 11:51 am
Patricia…We are retired and our children are gone and we’ve filled our nest with Parrots. FIVE of them..all screaming for attention, throwing seeds and vegetables all over the place. Part of the job, I do agree. But not to change the subject…my husband has Interstitual Lung Disease with hypersenativity Pneumonitis. We just had a visit to UCSF and they have were HORRIFIED to find out we lived with Parrots. Dr. said, “Problem solved..GET RID of your birds”!!!!…I heard that as DEATH….for either my husband of 52 years or our birds!! Which are our children! I am beside myself…I said, ‘I’d give a kidney or a lung..BUT NOT MY BIRDS’. Doctors DO not understand that..and it makes me crazy to think that they view my birds as just something I can discard. No one seem’s to understand where I am at. They say,”You mean, your let your husband suffer and die before you’d get rid of your birds”! I won’t answer that. I need some help from “Bird People’ out there…Please has anyone run into this DEVASTATING problem …there has to be …since so many doctors have given this diagnosis before. Thank you for hearing me out…Elaine
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February 25, 2012 at 6:58 pm
Limit your parrots to one room 🙂
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February 25, 2012 at 9:22 pm
Hi Elaine D.
I left you a message on this page scroll down
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February 25, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Having cried many a time about my birds, it’s always a delight to laugh, instead, at their comical behavior or at your essays, Patricia. Thanks for sharing the fun with “the tribe.” 🙂
— “Our Lady of Perpetual Parakeets” [rofl]
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February 25, 2012 at 3:45 pm
Paula,
I think I shall dub thee, “Our Lady of Perpetual Parakeets.” I say unto you, thou shalt not wear ugly sandals, feed an all-seed diet, nor shall you lose thy sense of humor. Now go in whirled peas…
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February 25, 2012 at 7:16 pm
LOL.
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February 25, 2012 at 4:26 pm
I just have one parrot for now, but after we move to Florida, I want to adopt a rescue bird from Florida Parrot Rescue! Maybe s twin to Ginger! Ginger is such a joy to have in our home! She is a feathered angel!
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February 25, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Today was clean the floors and cages day…and the chairs Butters (Macaw) lights on, and the walls that get splattered, and the sofa that gets pooped on and the back of the monitors because our IRN, Kirby, enjoys a warm seat, and…ya…I chase downies all day long baby! I’m wearing my bird shirt and you can tell it’s 3 in the afternoon by its condition.
LOVE the thoughts, couldn’t agree more, and currently am giggling at all four of my fids.
Thanks.
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February 25, 2012 at 9:40 pm
I have designated bird shirts – look like lace. Of course, more & more of my wardrobe become ‘bird shirts’ as I am too lazy to change shirts when one of my babies aka terrors from hell NEED to sit on me. Love them !!
🙂
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February 25, 2012 at 9:03 pm
Elaine D.
I am so sorry to hear about your husband, and understand how you feel. Maybe try some air filtrs like RABBIT AIR. (www.rabbitair.com) for birds. or the
RAIN FOREST (germicidal warm mist air humidifier for birds) http://www.aircleanersforbirds.com. Both are in BIRD TALK magazines.
.
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February 25, 2012 at 9:20 pm
Patricia, I so enjoy all your writings and you make me laugh, and knowing there are other people going through the same thing as me with my 3 kids, like
telling my Severe Macaw to stop doing whatever he is not supose to be doing, he yells back, WHATTTTTT!! then I laugh. Yes, only bird people know how funny that can be.
Sometimes, when I feel down, I only have to go to and read your comments and blogs to make me laugh and feel so much better. Thank you.
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February 25, 2012 at 9:30 pm
Yes I’m glad I found you all. Parrots have such great,sometimes trying, personalities 🙂
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February 26, 2012 at 7:43 am
I’m sitting on my bed reading all your comments, laughing. I have 5 parrots and can relate to all of you.. expecially the “bird shirts”. A few times I have forgotten to change out of my bird shirt and have gone out to the shops, only to come back and find that I have got a few poops stuck to my shirt, lol. Anyway I’m also happy I found all of you..
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February 26, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Patricia, A great sense of humour you have. I’m always laughing when I read your comments. You keep us all sane!! 🙂
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October 5, 2016 at 11:03 pm
Boy am I glad to see these comments and your stpry! I rescued a Quaker Parrot and “she” (not sure) is so cuddly and LOUD. Most of the time not so loud. She tslksm..grumbles about all kind of things and loves eating dinner with us! I love my Choo Choo and YES its good to know Im as demented as all of you lovely people!!! ❤❤❤
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