WHAT’S THE POINT?

By

Patricia Sund

Having a parrot in your life is a puzzling existence. I suppose you could agree with the idea that they provide companionship just as a dog or a cat does, but why in God’s name a parrot? Where did we ever get the idea that having a parrot would be a life enriching experience?

They’re loud, messy, demanding, pushy, selfish, self-absorbed, and whiney. Amazing isn’t it? We could have opted for the alpha-male position by having a dog. But Noooo! That would be too easy. We could have not bothered with any of it and found a cat in good need of a hearth and home. You know, A little fuzzy guy that wouldn’t be too much trouble and really didn’t care if we lived or died as long as the food train rolled around twice a day.

Oh no. We’re not having any of that. We had to go out and pay a big load of bucks for creatures that want our love, our undying attention, our free time, our not-so-free time, and our retirement fund just to keep them in toys, food, entertainment and a decent cage.

If they get upset, they scream, bite, or throw a hissy fit. They can develop behavior problems at the drop of hat, a towel, or anything else. They’re touchy, moody, needy, and sensitive.

They will play you like a violin, and strum on your heartstrings just to get that extra 10 minutes with you after you declared it was time for bed. They will sulk, talk under their breath, and work you to death to get what they want. They want something wonderful and they want it now!

On the surface, having a parrot as a companion sounds so neat. It’s exotic and different, but it doesn’t quite put you in the same exotic ballpark as the people who would like to introduce you to their Tarantula. That would be just a bit much for even your most seasoned average pet owner. Owning a bird, especially a big bird, is socially acceptable, and has become more prevalent. However, it’s still downright unconventional…it sets the person apart from the norm, but it’s not too eccentric. It tends to define who the perspective owner perceives himself to be.

So many misunderstandings and so many misconceptions about the practice of companion bird care are still rampant among the general public and it’s starting to make me wonder when we’ll all get it right. It wouldn’t bother me so much if parrot keeping weren’t on such an upswing in popularity. I’m not saying that having a parrot should be some exclusive little club where only those deemed “deserving” should be allowed to have birds. What I’m trying to express here is that sometimes the challenge of these creatures is too much for too many people.

I don’t believe the general public understands what is involved in having a companion bird. All parrot companions get the same statements and comments from people as to why they would love to have a parrot. Usually they want one just like mine, and I tell them that Parker is the result of thousands of hours of research, training and attention. Parker really isn’t an accident, and a lot of how he behaves, which is what makes him so endearing to people, is a result of all of this work. I have to explain to them that parrots don’t just show up on your doorstep and behave the way he does.

Parker isn’t particularly special or even that talented. He’s your run-of-the-mill African Grey. He looks like every other African Grey. He’s a parrot. He’s pretty good at it, this “being a parrot” business, but that’s what he’s made to be and to do. I don’t believe he thinks he’s a human. He’s really an enjoyable little guy, and quite fun to have around. He’s quite social, and doesn’t do anything terribly obnoxious. So far he doesn’t have any problems. It’s still early but I’m hoping it will all turn out well.

But many people simply state the following, and this is usually what I’m thinking:

“I’m different, I don’t follow the norm.”

(I don’t either, but I didn’t drag a parrot into the equation until I knew I could handle it.)

“I know I can handle the responsibility.”

(Oh, really? I’d like to introduce a few birds to you. Say hi to Chopper, Chainsaw, and Drill Bit!)

“They’re so cute!”

(You betcha! Say hi to Chopper’s beak.)

“They not big animals and they don’t take much time to maintain.”

(This is a lovely poop machine especially designed to redesign your beautiful Berber carpet with an exotic Dalmatian pattern.  Keep them clean, train them, teach them, and feed them well or you will most likely end up living in a constant mess and with a sick or psychotic parrot.)

“You can leave them alone in their cage for a few days can’t you?”

(Sure!  Just pop your kids in there with him. You were going to leave them too, weren’t you? )

“What do they eat?”

(Did you ask this question when you decided to have children? If you’re asking, you haven’t done your homework.)

I end up spending more time talking people out of getting a parrot rather than the opposite. And the people who I think would make wonderful parrot companions are quite hesitant because they’re the ones who know what a vast undertaking it is and they doubt their own ability to take on such a big responsibility. These are the people that are thinking long and hard about the task. It’s the confident ones I worry about. These are the people that will obtain a parrot and think that all they have to do is feed it and clean it and it will sit there and learn all on its own.

I had a talk with a gentleman acquaintance that had a 9-month-old baby girl, and he stated that he wanted to get a parrot for his daughter. I asked him why.  His response was chilling. He said, “I can afford it. And I want it for my daughter. You know, a nice “toy” for her to play with.”

I kept my cool, and asked him if he thought his daughter was a lot of work. He agreed that she was a load of work, and that it was more than a full time job. I then asked him if he was planning on having any more in the near future. He told me no, he and his girlfriend weren’t going to have any more kids because they hadn’t exactly planned their daughter, and they just couldn’t handle any more.

I then politely proceeded to explain the work involved in raising a baby parrot: The time, the training, the diet requirements, the attention and the fully involved commitment. He was obviously stunned, and backed down from the thought. He got a little upset when I asked if he kept his daughter around because she was a nice “toy” for him and his girlfriend. But he got the point that I wasn’t too thrilled with his “toy” comment and we left it at that.

I have a theory. Unlike human beings, I don’t believe that anything a parrot does is entirely unreasonable because I don’t think a parrot can be deliberately deceptive with one exception: they will hide illness. I believe any unreasonable behavior is a direct result of a situation they cannot cope with. This response stems from a combination of their environment, and DNA. Their responses to stress are about as varied and different as how people respond to stress. I think they will respond to the same stressful situations just as people do. Not everyone will respond to the same situation in the same way. Millions of people fly on airplanes every day. Some people won’t even go near an airport. It all depends on how you’re wired, what your conditioning has been, and what your level of comfort or stress is.

It’s the same way with parrots.  I think that when a well-looked after parrot displays a negative behavior it is most likely a result of something that has changed, something that he doesn’t understand or fears, or it stems from a physical condition, such as sexual maturity, illness or pain. They want what they want, and like children, they don’t understand why they can’t always have their way. To paraphrase psychiatrist, R.D. Laing: “Madness is a sane response to an insane situation.”  Everything about this “living with people” lifestyle goes against their nature. It’s not a bad life for most parrots and they usually adjust to it so beautifully. But every once in a while, instinct raises its head and we have to somehow work out a solution that is workable for both parties.

Push them too far and they’ll push back and bite you. Push them further still and they will pluck, scream or self-mutilate. They will push back so far and so hard that they sometimes end up getting pushed out of a lot of homes.

But when it works, it is beautiful. God, they love you. Not only do they love you, they can actually tell you that they love you. This is where the beauty, the balance and the gripping artistry take hold of our hearts.

There is absolutely nothing like having a parrot sitting in your lap: this wild animal who accepts you as a flock member, and a friend. It is a cross-species relationship that transcends the natural order of things.  I think the fascination comes with the closeness of the relationship despite what nature normally dictates. It bucks what is considered “natural”. There is indeed a poetry and symmetry to this unnatural state, almost as if there were perfect balance required to maintain the relationship on a very long teeter-totter. But the balance has to be maintained or someone hits the dirt. A respect on both sides must be instituted or someone ends up crossing that line of balance, and it is a very thin line. You must give parrots credit. We never bother to learn their language. We force them to learn ours in order to communicate, and they are sometimes not considered to be cooperative or intelligent unless they learn our ways of communication. At best, we can follow some very rudimentary physical cues. Tail wagging; eye-pinning, preening, foot stomping and beak banging are about all we can follow. My, this is incredibly intuitive of us!

In the meantime, they are calling us by our names, asking for dinner, singing like Streisand, telling the dog to be quiet and attempting to answer the phone.

I love having a companion parrot. I love who Parker is and I have changed profoundly for the better as a result of our relationship. He didn’t have to change a thing other than learn a few simple rules about manners. He just goes on being a parrot and I am lucky enough to have earned his trust. My relationship with Parker has not only changed the way I look at the world, but how I feel about it. This still wild little creature has the ability to teach me so much just by waking up in the morning.

Unlike dogs and cats, birds have not yet domesticated themselves. They still have no need to and we certainly haven’t spent enough time in a companion environment to change their wiring. We chose to take on this relationship because we need them, not the other way around and I think we need to live up to it. By failing them, we fail ourselves. And that would leave us with having to admit that we were not worthy of the relationship in the first place.

Ten years ago, when the Millennium rolled around, I didn’t have birds. My life was entirely different really. I was still on my first of the four total vacuum cleaners I’ve had since then, I had clean carpeting as opposed to the slate tile I have now and it wasn’t cluttered up with crud. I used to happily do three-day trips for work, ramming around the world like it was my back yard. I could take off to see my friend Lynn in Port St. Lucie. I used to go out at night and when I cleaned, it usually stayed clean for a while.

But life goes on with or without your realizing that changes are bound to happen. And God knows they do. My decision to bring Parker into my life was one of those changes that at the time I didn’t think would be that completely earth-shaking. I mean really, how tough could this be? I was trained to evacuate a 757 in 90 seconds flat, and feed 251 people in high heels, a skirt and some guy trying to take whiz in a ginger ale can in my galley!  Man, was I ever wrong! Getting Parker was the toughest thing I ever took on. But I took it very seriously. The guy whizzing in the ginger ale can? All I said was, “Hey! Put that thing AWAY!”

Parker at the controls of a 757

The birds are just one more thing to do, (Well, actually it’s a BUNCH of other things to do.) but it’s a fun thing. Cleaning cages isn’t too bad for me because I put newspaper on the top of the bottom grates as a substrate.  This keeps their “rooms” much cleaner. It’s easier to just roll up the newspaper, throw it out and replace it than to have to take out the grate and wash it. The cage lasts longer. I’ve had Parker in the same “room” since he was very young, almost seven years now and his room still looks almost brand new. Parker and Pepper don’t eat in their cages, they eat on their Wayne’s bottle brush play gyms.

So my life has changed “slightly”; rather it was changed by bring Parker home one fine April Fool’s Day. It changed again when I trained at Natural Encounters, again when I met Dr. Susan Friedman and completed her course: LLP,(Living and Learning With Parrots) and yet again when I began writing about my birds and about Aviculture.

And the hits just keep on coming! My weeks at the Cincinnati Zoo courtesy of Steve Malowski of the Zoo Bird House, and “Major Dude,” Dave Oehler completely rocked my whole comprehension of birds and bird care because my experience now includes looking after some pretty interesting species like penguins, Condors, Sea Eagles, Keas, Hornbills and Flamingos.

This Kea Just had a bath. But I was wet as well from the cleaning her enclosure.

So as you can imagine, it’s been an amazing ride so far. The people I’ve met and the things I’ve had the privilege of doing, (and planning to do!) keep me happy about my decision to turn my tidy life upside-down by bringing Parker home followed by Pepper a few years later.  I do so love them and moreover, I have really enjoyed meeting people I’ve met who feel the same way.

I’ve had the opportunity to share what I’ve learned by speaking at bird clubs and schools, and I’ve been a little shocked at the growing interest in my posts here at “PN.”

Usually when I take something on, I have a tendency to “do it up brown,” and I guess this “bird thing” was one of them. It led me and my writing skills to “BIRD TALK” magazine and the column, “Memo to Parker & Pepper.” The “Memos” are a trifle, a fun thing in the magazine. I suppose it’s a little like getting the dessert after a good meal. Although from what many readers report, they prefer desert first, which makes me very happy!

I’m thrilled about the growing interest in my “Chop” feeding concept. You can read a popular post about it here: “The Chop Blog.” It got people so interested, I was flabbergasted to find THIS on Amazon. Suffice it to say 2009 was a pretty good year for me.

So as I enter the new decade with my birds in tow, I’m probably not going to try and change things too much with a bunch of resolutions and promises to myself. I like my life too much as it is. But I still intend to pursue my adventures in order to complete my manuscript which includes a trip to “Best Friends Animal Sanctuary.” I’ll get on those flights even if it’s something I hate to do on my time off. And as for Parker and Pepper? Well, let’s just say I’m going to try and give them a little more training time, more outings and a little more time to bask in the sun. After all, they deserve it! Here’s to 2010!

(I wrote this piece quite a few years ago when I was still new to having Parker in my life. But I still believe what I stated at the time still holds true.)

Parker at about 5 weeks of age.

Isn’t It Ironic?

By Patricia Sund

I am a very new bird companion, as I acquired Parker, my Congo African Grey in April of 2003. I had always wanted a parrot, and on top of that, I had always wanted an African Grey. I’d toyed with the idea of a Cockatoo for a while until I found that they wouldn’t really match up with my personality. Although I find them incredibly charming, they are a bit too flashy for me, and not as independent as I thought I would want in a companion bird. But when I first learned about African Greys, I was intrigued. Greys were smart. Greys were elegant and understated. They reminded me of that well-dressed but not overbearing smartest guy at the party who took in everything and only said something when he had something extremely witty to say.  A Grey was that guy who had a half smile on his face and found being a part of things was far more fun than being the center of attention, but then became the center of attention because of his personality. He got the attention from his brains and his manners, not his looks.

I visualized Greys as a combination of Nathan Lane and Gene Kelly in a gray tuxedo. Not flashy like a Cockatoo, (Mae West) brilliantly colored like a Macaw, (Carmen Miranda or Rue Paul) or as carefree as a budgie or cockatiel, (The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and The Rockettes).

I saw a Grey as fitting in with what I am like: sort of understated and efficient. I’m not real quiet, but I’m to the point. I’m bookish, but I have a sense of humor.

It was as if I thought a Grey would get my jokes.

Parker is incredibly important to me and I have spent literally hundreds of hours since he came to me reading everything I can on correct nutrition, proper training and a relaxed, fun environment so that he can thrive and develop self-confidence, flexibility and a trust in our relationship. He is a wonderful companion and we have so much fun! I have no intention of adding any more birds to my household. Parker is more than enough and has taught me more about myself in the short time I’ve had him than I ever knew before. I don’t want Parker to change. I simply want him to be as much as he can be. The ironic part of this is that I have become a better person just from having him in my life. As much as I challenge Parker to learn more, I’m the one who really learns. Parker taught me how capable I am of giving unconditional love, and that is a lesson no human being was ever able to teach me. It took an African Grey Parrot to teach me one of the most valuable lessons in life anyone can ever learn.

(The “learning experience” never ends. And it’s quite interesting to see what you have learned when you look back at yourself! This was an article I wrote with the future in mind almost four years ago. At the time I wrote this piece, I knew a fraction of what I know now. But my approach and point of view still makes sense.)

PERHAPS IT’S LUCK…PERHAPS NOT

By Patricia Sund

      I’d seen it all. I’d read everything I could get my hands on, surfed the web, bought the books, (and actually read them), talked to bird people, and went to bird shows. I subscribed to the magazines, read the articles and compared ingredient listings on the backs of packages. I attempted to sort out the information and separate the sound, sensible plans from the ideas that even I could see were a total load of crap. I had reached the end of the Internet. All in all, I’d spent literally hundreds and hundreds of hours, studying from every source I could locate; the urgent subject at hand: my African Grey, Parker. I was as serious as a heart attack about getting the information and raising him the best way I could.

 Now there was only one thing stopping me from being a well-seasoned bird owner: Experience.

 I only have just over a year in experiencing what it is like to live with my own parrot. And every morning I think to myself, “I wonder what Parker and I are going to learn today.”

 He’s still young, only 16 months in July and he’s just beginning to crack the communication code of language. He changes and stretches his abilities every day. I socialized Parker very heavily when he was young. (I read that this was a good thing to do if you wanted a happy, well-balanced bird.)  My friend Clive, who has about a gazillion years of experience as an owner, breeder and retail bird supply store owner told me that because of Parker’s early socialization, he was most likely going to be a late talker. But, on the other hand, I ended up with a riotously cheerful little guy who is just as happy on the beach meeting tourists or going to his job, as he is in his own home.

I started hauling him around with me just as soon as I got him. (I read that this kept your parrot from becoming too dependent on a routine.) He went to restaurants with me, on weekend visits to friends, even to the local pub where they have an outside courtyard. (I learned sunshine is important for your bird’s health.) He quickly got used to traveling in his carry-cage in the car and he sings and whistles in there like it was the Queen Mary and he was a back-up singer for Tina Turner.

  I really haven’t had any problem with him at all, but by God, I was ready. I just assumed I would have some issues because after all, I was inexperienced and I had read so many heartbreaking stories.   My eyes teared up through books about behavior problems, and I sobbed at stories of abandoned and abused birds. I mentally prepared myself for issues such as plucking or screaming to appear. I trained myself to watch for phobic problems, picky eating, and stress. (I read that this sometimes develops.) Nothing. He got a little beaky for a while, but we nipped that in the bud with a “no bite” and “evil-eye.” combo-platter. He is honest-to-God, one of the happiest damned birds even Clive has ever seen and Clive has handled thousands of birds.

 I know the drill: His cage is clean and his toys are rotated from a large stock.  He gets quite a bit of sunshine, but he has full spectrum lighting in his cage. His step-ups are terrific and I play with him, teach him tricks and talk to him. He gets 10 to 12 hours of sleep a night, and he gets showers on regular basis, which he relishes. (I read that these are both very important for their well-being.) He is paper-trained. The little guy even has a job.

 His diet is impeccable, he’s far from picky and he eats like a pig. He loves the dark green and orange vegetables that he gets every day. (I read that these are a must.) The variety of food he eats is stunning, and he went through a heavy molt with no lasting issues. He doesn’t even like sunflower seeds. (I read these are not good for your bird)

Parky is happy to be with me, but he has a huge flock of friends that he loves spending time with. (I learned that having a flock is crucial) He easily goes to strangers if I introduce them to him. He gets visitors, and invitations to parties. He even got a few Christmas cards.

 I was ready for problems and issues. I was prepared for plucking and screaming. I knew what to do and how to handle it. But nothing bad ever happened. I have had no real problems to speak of.

 My question is this: Which comes first, the bird or the upbringing? Are some birds just naturally prone to behavioral problems due to their DNA? Every bird is different. Was it just luck that Parker so far, has had no major issues? Is it what I do or is it who he is? Is the way I’m raising him so heavily impacting how he handles the world that even if he were prone to problems, it would be of no consequence? Or is it because he wasn’t prone to any behavioral problems in the first place?

 My friend Clive believes in good breeding. He believes that if the parents of the bird are sweet, happy, stable birds, you are more likely to end up with a bird of the same constitution. He thinks Parker came from good stock, and is who he is because of his heredity. I’m not so sure. I’ve never met Parker’s parents so I can’t answer that question but I know what he is referring to. Clive had 3 Timnehs from the same clutch that were being sold in the store he managed. I met these parrots and they were skittish, and intractable. These were very young birds and Clive was finishing their weaning for the breeder, so they got the same attention and upbringing the other babies in the store received but these three just weren’t going along with the program. I didn’t think it was possible that a “mean” bappie existed, but here they were.

 I asked Clive about it and he said, “Those three were trying to bite when they were still in the incubator.”

 This was not Clive’s first encounter of this sort, so he doesn’t consider it a fluke.

 That is what began our discussion on this subject, and it has gone on for months. Clive and I go back in forth with the classic “environment vs. heredity” argument; a new twist on the movie “Trading Places”.

 Is Parker a happy, polite and so far, problem free parrot because he hatched that way? Or rather, was it my “bordering on the obsessive” search for information regarding raising problem parrots and then actually putting into practice the information I found?

I am by no means particularly different than many other bird companions. However, I got into birds late into the game, and have no real time at the helm of this particular ship. I saw this as a detriment and wanting to catch up, I concentrated on doing everything I could to make up for the lack of experience, which involved educating myself. I felt I owed it to Parker to give him what I saw as more than a fighting chance to become the best and happiest bird he could be. So I kept plugging away at finding all the answers to all the questions.

 I found out one thing that is an absolute: Absolutes just don’t exist. The more I learn, the more questions I find myself asking.

 Remember Dr. Spock? His childcare book sold like hotcakes years ago and at the time, he was considered to be the ultimate authority in the field of baby and childcare. Since then, a lot of what were considered to be the standard benchmarks in childcare are now routinely questioned. His guide is a tad short in the warmth department and tends to answer the questions in a factual cut-and-dried manner rather than the warm and fuzzy style most parents tend to prefer these days.  There are many individuals whose books, videos and articles about bird care I have devoured like, well…hotcakes. And we all know them: Friedman, Heidenreich, O’Connor, Shewokis, Pepperberg, et al. Lots of wonderful people with tons of time and experience in the bank are righting the wrongs and slaying the dragons of myth and misinformation. These are the people who are establishing the foundation for a field that has yet to crawl out of its infancy. Their ideas will be considered the groundbreaking work that others in the future will base new research on. They are the experts that are changing the way people are raising, feeding, and caring for their birds, yet they are never short on warmth or compassion.

 One thing became clear to me while reading their work: Raising a companion bird is not so much a science, or a pastime as it is an art. It is a creative work always in progress and it changes every minute. There are two participants in this work of art, the human and the bird, and sometimes the collaborators don’t always agree. But this is where it becomes a work of art. Both participants must come up with a viable solution or one of them loses out in the experience. The experience is the art, as well as the outcome, and both of the participants change as time passes. It is a fluid, moving entity.

 There are still so many things I don’t know and I simply don’t have the past history to possess a gut instinct about the subject yet. But this particular “environment versus heredity” thing has me bugged.

In the meantime, while I puzzle over this question, Parker climbs about on his “environmentally enriched” play stand and plays with his toys just as I taught him. He practices his vocalizations in between snacking on his bird healthy vegetables, and fresh clean water while attempting to engage me in a game of “tickle foot”, or invite me to watch him while he does his tricks. He happily hangs upside down beating on a toy, and goes about the business that he knows best: being a parrot. He is this way every single day: joyously happy, active, chatty and curious. He’s really not even that moody for God’s sake!  How did this happen?  Will Parker remain this way?

 I am a lucky, lucky bird companion and I’m very well aware of this, but was it luck? Was it heredity? Was it my compulsive pursuit of attempting to do everything correctly that led Parker to become such a flexible, easygoing parrot? I’ve read so many stories of people who seemed to be perfectly wonderful bird parents and ended up with a maniacal, phobic bird even when they were very young. Maybe I’m just feeling guilty because it really wasn’t that difficult to raise Parker in a sensible yet nurturing environment. It obviously paid off. Or did it? Would another African Grey have responded the same way? Could I do it again with a different bird? Could someone else do what I did and end up with the same result? Can you see my brain melting as a result of this question?

After all, the reason I did all that research was because I was aware that I didn’t know nearly enough. I felt completely inadequate to raise Parker the way I knew he needed to be raised.  But I found the tools. All that information has served me well in the long run. Perhaps I shouldn’t obsess over this mind twisting question for too long because while it serves its purpose, it takes away from the real point of what this is all about: maintaining and nurturing a happy positive relationship with my parrot. I suppose I shouldn’t question how Parker and I ended up this way.  Maybe I should just consider myself lucky.