This article appeared in the Phoenix Landing Foundation Newsletter a several years ago and has been reprinted in other Parrot Rescue and Bird Club Newsletters.
Just One of Those Days
By Patricia Sund
I just didn’t feel like it that morning. I didn’t want to feed a bird, look at a bird, clean a cage, hear any incessant chirping or listen to “Andy Griffith” yet one more time. I was over it.
I’d hit the wall. I was done. I’d had it. This article appeared in the Phoenix Landing Foundation Newsletter a several years ago and has been reprinted in other Parrot Rescue and Bird Club Newsletters.
It was one of those mornings where I had declared to Parker and Pepper, “Okay, that’s it. It’s toast for everyone!”
I would then proceed to toast some whole grain bread, spread peanut butter sprinkled with a fresh, fine ground veggie mix on it and slap it into the bowls mounted on their play stands. My birds love these mornings because they love toast. They pick up the piece of toast in their feet while they delicately and joyfully crunch away. It is truly hilarious to watch. But then I would feel guilty because I was a lazy caregiver. To me, if they were human, it would have been like handing them one of those microwave breakfast sandwiches to your kid. (Oh my God! They didn’t get their broccoli! No flax seed oil! I forgot about their calcium supplement! I am a horrible person!)
I’m thinking to myself, “What have I done?”
I used to be able to not worry about who would take care of things. I could go to work at my job as a Flight Attendant and come back 3 days later and not worry or even care if the place burned down. My electrical bill is sky high in the summer because I have to run the air conditioning all the time just for the birds. I used to just turn the thing off when I left. No more.
I am constantly chopping up vegetables, cleaning up bird crap, showering them and doing laundry. I’m training parrots, reading about parrots, writing about them, cleaning, feeding them, and sweeping up after them.
Website surfing consists of surfing for articles about parrot training, behavior, and looking for the perfect toy.
I’m struggling to even pay my bills not because of money but because I forget to sit down and pay them.
I worry about spending enough time with Pepper, my relinquished older Grey to get her better socialized while worrying that this time devoted to Pepper is neglectful to Parker, my first Grey.
I’m concerned when they don’t eat all their vegetables. Clearly, I’m an idiot.
I worry about the hideous diet Pepper was on and I’m having trouble with transferring her over to fresh food.
I worry if I’m ever going to get all of this right. I concern myself with whether I should audit Dr. Susan Friedman’s class “Living and Leaning with Parrots” to make sure I really know the material I learned the first time around. I wonder if my Greys are getting enough calcium. I get depressed because the local Humane Society can’t see how I could be of any help to their program because I have birds and they mostly concern themselves with dogs and cats. I live in an area of the country where companion birds are not only commonly kept, but bred, and I have to fly to other parts of the country to be of any use to a Parrot rescue team. I only have 2 birds and I feel overwhelmed. I keep wondering how my friends who run and work at adoption and rescue organizations manage to get anything done.
How in God’s name do Ann Brooks or Vicky Clem of Phoenix Landing make it through the day? How Does Lisa at AERAS manage to remain sane? Where do Leigh Matejka and Susan Kray at Cleveland PEAC find the moxie to get up every damned day and handle such challenges with about a million more birds than I do? Why am I such a wimp?
A few months back, I flew up to Washington to pick up some Cockatiels from Vicky Clem who works with Phoenix Landing. I had found homes for them down here in Florida and I had flown up to bring them back to their new home. The birds were being fostered at a senior citizen’s home and after picking them up, we went back to Vicky’s house. If I remember correctly, she had 29 parrots residing in her home, along with 2 dogs, 2 kids and some hamsters. I couldn’t believe it. I was in awe as I watched her whiz around the Kitchen and take care of things like this was nothing. The phone was ringing, dogs were barking, parrots Squawking, kids running in and out of the house, and she’s happily slamming something into the oven for her kid’s dinner while yakking on the phone with a couple of Phoenix Landing volunteers making arrangements for us to go to dinner. I just stood back out of the way, petting Topaz, the Cockatoo while watching in absolute amazement.
That morning, I sat on the couch and looked at the birds while Parker and Pepper happily crunched away at their toast. I watched Parker fling the rest of his toast over the side of his stand onto the carpeting (which of course lands peanut butter-side down) and climb down to the edge of the stand. He hovers, squats and then proceeds to crap on the toast like he was a B52 Bomber squadron making a bulls eye hit.
Looking up at me, he proudly announces “Parker!”
As I got up to retrieve the heavy artillery cleaner from the kitchen for the carpeting, (I haven’t gotten around to installing wood or tile, but at this point I’d be willing to strip it down to the cement…) I think about Leah, Susan, Ann, Vicky, Lisa and all those other terrific people I’ve met that have endless energy, boundless ambition and the hearts of eagles. They would laugh like Hyenas at me for feeling this way.
They would think the way I’m looking at things this morning is a waste of time and if I want to get over it and move on I should do something about it.
Sharing your home with a parrot is a never-ending cycle of cleaning, feeding, training, and preparing food. They don’t move out when they are 18. They can’t take care of themselves. They depend on you, and that can sometimes become frustrating. That was the way I was feeling that morning. But I got over it and moved on like I usually do. I realized that sometimes life gets to you. You want to have birds in your life, but it gets to be a bit much at times. Get up, get out, get on and get over it. The feeling will pass just like it did for me that morning. I realized that the carpeting didn’t care if it got crapped yet again, and to be honest, at this point, I didn’t really care either. What mattered most was the big picture.
Edna St. Vincent Millay once said: “It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another; it’s one damn thing over and over.”
I get more happiness from having those 2 birds in my life than having a clean carpet. The carpet doesn’t give a damn about me, but Parker and Pepper care very much about me and demonstrate that to me every day. And if my big problem at the moment was the daily tedium of taking care of my beautiful companions, then I was indeed a very lucky woman.
Don’t let that “I got the blues” moment get to you. It will pass. And if it’s one of “those” mornings, just remember: there’s always toast.
Patricia Sund
I think you’ve been eavesdropping on my brain… Cannot tell you how many times I’ve thought these thoughts, worried these worries, and then concluded how lucky I am. It’s a special life.
Nope, not eavesdropping! I just happen to be able to put my thoughts and feelings into words fairly readily. I like to “paint pictures” with words as i have very little drawing ability. And I find it comes easily to me, so I just wanted to reassure everyone that I think all Parrot People have these thoughts from time to time. It’s hard to admit but Parents of Children probably feel the same way at times. I think it’s normal, and you just have those feelings and just go on. That’s why there’s toast.
Good post, I favorited your site so I can visit again in the future, Thanks
Great post, I bookmarked your blog so I can visit again in the future, Thanks
Excellent article, Patricia. Maybe we can meet up sometime this year. I plan to travel in 2010, Love Corinne xxxxx
I think I will print this out and post to my fridge to remind me I’m not alone on ‘those’ days! I started out with Echo, my cherry head conure and he is my cuddle bug! Over a year later, my husband decided he needed “his own” bird…our now 1 year old severe macaw, Fenway. Well, we failed to let Fenway in on our little plan that she was supposed to be daddy’s girl and she is now my bigger cuddle bug! They are my kids and I love them to pieces! “Cooking” them breakfast and dinner everyday, along with the never-ending cleaning, sweeping, showering, etc. is a lot of work, but very worth it!
where can i see pics of your scarves? and where is the recipe for the chop posted? thanks
Hi Amy,
To find the “Chop” recipes, go to the top the Blog and you’ll see tabs. The tab on the right is labeled “Recipe Posts.” You’ll find them there! Here is the link:
http://parrotnation.com/recipe-posts/
If you are a friend of mine on Facebook, I have quite a few photos of the scarves posted. I’ve been planning on doing a post about the Feather scarves but I’ve been pretty busy with my writing assignments with Bird Talk Magazine. I’ll get to it soon, I promise! And I’ll try and email you a photo of them. Thanks for stopping by…
P.
Hi Patricia – I’ve been enjoying your Parker/Pepper column in BirdTalk. I’ve been a subscriber for years.
I have a wonderful grey named Bill. He came into my life ten years ago from a less than happy home, at least for him. He’s now 21 years old and is so smart that he constantly amazes me, even after all these years. I’ve had parrots all my life. Before Bill came to me I had Red, my parrot who was purchased by my uncle for my 13th birthday from a petshop on the Bowery in 1967. We had many happy years together until he passed away when I was….50. A very long friendship. I just read Susan Chamberlain’s article “Birds Online”where Parrot Nation was mentioned, and here I am. I was sitting here reading all your “essays” and laughing myself to tears. It was like having a mirror image into my mind and house. The constant worry about whether baby bird is getting enough vitamins, wanting a little peace now and then when the spoiled brat screaming tantrums start, poop in odd places. I never thought that anyone else was as crazy about their bird as I am. But, after going to countless bird expos, I know different. Bird people are a definitely a different breed. I tell finicky friends and relatives that I don’t care what he does, I’ll just clean up after him. I run around the house looking like a hobo with chewed up shirts. He is definitely Ralph Kramden, king of the castle. I have countless stories about his doings that would have you hysterical. Well, you have Parker and Pepper, so you understand. All the feeding, cleaning, sweeping, cooking, feeding, picking up thrown food, it’s all worth it. I am now a life long fan of Parrot Nation. Thanks for listening!
L.
Hi, Patricia. Just found out about your blog from a friend who sent me the link to your “chop” recipe and video. Love your site! This post was great and shows us that we ALL have days like that where it all becomes overwhelming and we wonder if we can clean one more poop or wash another bird dish. Thanks for describing it all so well! The “shower scene” was hilarious!
We share our home with two Greys (one Congo, one Timneh), 3 Quakers and a cockatiel. I am so priviledged to have them in my life and not a day goes by that I am not reminded about how lucky I am!
Thanks for your site – so glad I found it!
Do you allow links to your site? I’d love to put a link on my blog?
Keep up the great work and give your three birds a scritch from me.
Audrey in B.C., Canada
Certainly Aud!
Link away! I’m so glad you enjoy the site. I’ve been blogging going on three years, so there’s a lot to look at I guess. So if you happen to have a lot of time…*snicker!*
One of the things I like to do is to confront how difficult it is to keep birds. I try to lighten people’s days by taking a look at what it’s like to have birds in your home and laugh at what goes on sometimes. It just makes life a little easier.
Hope you come back soon and thank you!
Patricia
I want to tell you how much I’m enjoying the “Parrot Nation” site. I just found it a couple of days ago, and I have never commented on a site about parrots before this. For the past 26 years I have had the most wonderful white feathered friend named “Bubba”. She is a lesser sulfer crested cockatoo. I have laughed till my sides hurt while reading what you have written. It’s so wonderful to have someone to “talk” to about our great companions.
Thank you so much.
Penny E. Texas
Thank you Penny! It’s so nice of you to say. I hope you continue to enjoy it.
As someone relatively new to the “bird” game let me add this: I am feeling overwhelmed by the amount of information coming at me and trying to discern what is good and what is garbage. I of course want to do what is best for my bird, a DYHA, and trying to figure that out is becoming mind-boggling at times.
Different types of food and feeding said food, toys, supplements, grooming, to clip wings or not, clicker training, positive re-enforcement training, cages, playstands, etc. How is a person to know what is right? I even worry that I’m worrying too much about all this!
Thank God Jose is as patient with me as I am with him. In time we will wade through all of this together and be better for it. Thanks Patricia for your website and for understanding!
Susan Pohlers
& Jose Parrot
Susan,
Don’t worry. You’re doing fine. I was in the same position as you not to long ago. Nothing is written in stone with the exception that, “An all-seed diet simply blows!” You will learn just as I did and you’ll get through it. Eventually you will be floored at the advanced knowledge you have on keeping birds. It just sort of “happens.” I think about the stuff I have to read now in order to research articles and it slays me that just a few years ago, I NEVER would have gotten through the research. Now? No big deal. Just keep learning and reading. You’ll be fine. And so by the way will Jose!
Wonderful story Patricia, what I love about you is your just like everyone else, same worries, etc. Sometimes while reading your stories I find myself saying,”this sounds like me”. And when someone posts to you , you listen. And knowing Ann personally, yes she is one amazing lady. I use to look forward to seeing her at the seminars given in N.Va.
debbie
mr.irene(cag)
I loved your story. I totally understand it, because I have a macaw. And she lives free. Fortunately, she’s potty trained, or perch trained! Keep up the good work. I am bookmarking and I’ll be a regular visitor now.
What happened to the “So you think your ready for a parrot?” article… I had linked to it frtom my website but now the link is dead. Would like to put it on my website, credited of course, please let me know. Michael
Hi Michael,
It’s right here:
http://parrotnation.com/2011/01/09/preparing-yourself-for-getting-a-bird/
I’m sorry, but your email ended up in the spam file. I just fished it out this minute.
I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but thanks, I needed that. This morning it was steamed whole-grain pasta stuffed with almond butter, sprinkled with ground flaxseed and rolled oats. And that was an easy treat. Gak! I’ve read your articles now for a few years and can relate at all times. Roxanne, the CAG was our first adventure in self-inflicted punishment. Then came abandoned RIP the Yellow-crested Amazon (Named by Roxanne because he had no name). Then before I came out of this obviously manic-induced psychosis, along came Silvio (aka: Cracker – renamed by Roxanne), the U-2, who was just reaching sexual maturity and had decided he did NOT want to continue to be raised like a puppy by 2 boys from the school I worked for. Well, needless to say, our life has changed dramatically. Just when we had settled in South Florida in a small apartment, just the 2 of us for the first time in a long time — needless to say, I recommend much more research, and much less compulsiveness to any and all who ask about being owned by a parrot. My Roxanne has her own PLOG (parrot log) and I am her personal assistant. People rarely believe it when I tell them what she does and says. Thanks for the article. I have a feeling I will need to read it afresh frequently. Blessings, Freada and the flock.
Oh Patricia! I love how you tell it like it is and not afraid to do so. I am sure we ALL feel like this at times and yet are too embarrassed to admit it — I know I have.
What would we do without you and the constant encouragement you give to us!
Thank you!
Marjorie
Thank you so much Marjorie! I sometimes try and write about the guilt, the drama and the rotten part of it as much as the wonderful part, because, as I’ve said before, “It’s not all skittles and beer.” I think writing about the reality of it just makes sense.
Nice essay. You should always have a job teaching creative writing!